


Connie Swap Episode 14: Beach City Limits

by br42, BurdenKing, CoreyWW, MjStudioArts



Series: Connie Swap [14]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Art, Bitterness, Comedy, Dating, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Drama, Dramedy, Electricity, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fight Scenes, Gen, Momswap, Monster of the Week, Pictures, Romantic Friendship, Slice of Life, Steven Universe AU, Talking, Tension, Trust Issues, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-21 18:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurdenKing/pseuds/BurdenKing, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MjStudioArts/pseuds/MjStudioArts
Summary: Lapis is home! Doug has moved back to Beach City. And Priyanka is making frequent visits. With so many new and newly-returned faces, there can be only one outcome: a party on the beach.Will the party go well? This is Beach City so it’s guaranteed to be eventful. No, the real question is whether Connie or the others will reach their limits before the party even begins.





	1. Static Clinginess

\---The Beach House, April 9th---

Lapis spent a few moments gawking at the altered Beach House while everyone else filtered in. New decorations, a new stove, and another crazy new contraption Peridot was calling a phone.

 _That last one, at least, is the normal kind of new,_ Lapis thought with a smirk, mentally adding, _Pterinodon always did love Nixie tubes, the nerd._

Jasper took the mason jar and backpack of beetle stuff from Connie and walked lil' Lennon into Peridot's room. Dot hustled into the kitchen to begin brewing some tea and assembling snacks, the green cutie being all smiles and bubbly energy. Connie seemed unwilling to let go of Lapis' hand, as if in fear she'd fly away when given the chance.

 _Now, I wonder what would give her_ that _impression?,_ thought the blue gem with the all-too-familiar voice of self-reproach.

Without consciously intending to, Lapis sat down at her favored spot at the window seat, Connie sitting down next to her. She ruffled the girl's oddly-frizzy hair and was about to say something to take some of the worry out of that constant, brown-eyed gaze when she noticed the contents of her shelves.

"Hey! You guys moved my stuff!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

 _What the heck had been happening here? And who the heck was reading_ The Return of-

The grip on her hand tightened and a voice at her side said, "Oh yeah, Jasper and I have a book club now. We, uh, needed the extra space. You- You don't mind, do you?"

Lapis turned to face Connie, her objections immediately quelled. Instead, the Blue gem made a wry smile and said, "I've had OJ read me the Riot Act a couple of times and I've even seen her throw the book at someone: she poofed a Slinker-spawn from across the living room once with one of those super thick books of yours."

Connie's eyes widened in recognition. "So that's why volume four of my Encyclopædia Britannica has gouges in the cover."

"Anyway, I've seen the big lug hit the books before but only in the literal sense." Lapis then pulled herself up into a mock-resigned pose and said, "I guess I can let you two have your fun even as my collection of fine literature is infringed upon."

Connie giggled and said, “I hardly think some fantasy novels will cheapen your collection of manga, old issues of _Mad Magazine_ , and assorted bargain-bin thrillers.”

A pair of coffee mugs on little plates drifted over, supported by floating fingers. Connie and Lapis took the proffered drinks.

Lapis sniffed it. _Peppermint with gratuitous amounts of honey. Ooh, and those little cookies shaped like windmills. Peri really is glad to see me. Aaah, it's good to be home,_ she thought languidly.

Outwardly, though, she quipped, "Ya gotta be careful with the flying saucers, Dot, or people might start to think you're an alien or something."

Connie and Peridot chuckled at the pun while Jasper returned from the temple and sat down in her usual spot at the end of the couch.

_Jasper the book nerd... Nope, not seeing it._

"Hey P, J? Does the cat still got your tongues or do you guys think you can talk straight after your tiger time?"

Jasper gave a thumbs up.

Dot, who looked to be starting in on tonight's dinner, cleared her throat and said, "I believe I have reacquainted myself with proper pronoun usage at this time. If I or I have... okay, perhaps my self-assessment is a touch hasty, but don't let that impede your conversational directive."

"No biggie, I was just wondering what Jasparamis, Porthodot, and... okay, ‘Athos’ and ‘Connie’ don't mash up well, but the musketeers comparison is otherwise sound. Anyway, what've you three been up to?" asked Lapis.

"Peridot, Jasper, and I fought mutants in the Kindergarten after Peridot and I tried fixing it," said Connie before nibbling on her butter cookie.

"Wait, what?!"

"Peridot was made a full Crystal Gem," said Jasper simply.

"Really?! But I-I thought-" stammered Lapis.

"Connie successfully subdued the umbralite, having realized another latent ability of her gemstone," stated Peridot while a frenzy of activity around her cut, peeled, and minced.

“The shadow thing in the quarry?” boggled Lapis.

“Yes, Lapis. Try and keep up,” answered the Green gem.

"We went to the Sea Shrine Lab, got a bunch of stuff, and I watched two of me nearly fight to the death with swords. The swords. Lapis," said Connie, her voice tight and her hair poofy, "other Connies can summon their swords! Plus, it was really emotionally scarring."

“When was-” Lapis started to ask.

"Oh, and Steven's not my sidekick," Connie added.

"Um, okay," // "He's not?" said Lapis and Jasper concurrently.

Jasper shook her head. "Peridot was poofed and I had to watch Steven and Connie while she reformed."

"You know his name?!" cried Lapis

"I'm- pardon, _Jasper_ has become a neophyte chef and has become far more knowledgeable about the basics of human society," said Peridot with a smile, a pair of fingers traveling the length of the room to pat Jasper's arm.

"You are?!" Lapis blurted out.

"Dad moved to town and, uh, he's got a new girlfriend," said Connie a touch sheepishly.

"He does?!" all three of the gems exclaimed.

* * *

\---Doug’s apartment, April 9th---

Doug pocketed his keys, confirmed he had his wallet and phone, then stepped quickly down the stairs towards the beautiful woman who had taken a break from helping him unpack to accompany him on an errand.

_You’re a lucky man, Maheswaran. In the words of Marco, ‘We’re both dorks, you and I. So when a woman comes along who mistakes our arrested development for boyish charm, try really, really hard not to screw it up.’_

He made it to the bottom, gave Pri a casual kiss on the cheek, and turned to walk towards his car.

“I was thinking,” said Pri, “I’ve only really seen this town driving through it. And since it could fit on a postage stamp,” she added with a smirk, “why don’t we walk instead?”

Doug scratched his chin, pretending to look hesitant. “Hmm, I don’t know. I had to hang a lot of really heavy shirts earlier. My back might not be up for a walk all the way across a postage stamp.”

Priyanka fixed him with a coy smile and said, “I don’t remember your back giving you trouble after we finished getting your closet in order.”

Doug swallowed, fighting against his inherent dorkiness to maintain his composure in the face of such attention. “Point,” he conceded, taking her hand in his, then adding, “though all joking aside, it actually has been giving me some grief since the move.”

“Do you want my professional medical opinion?” Pri asked as they started down the sidewalk together.

Doug nodded.

“You just moved and you’re nearly forty,” she deadpanned, then added more softly, “Sorry, dear, though I promise you a backrub after we get back.”

“That sounds lovely,” said Doug, giving her hand a little squeeze. “Now, as your tour guide across this weird little postage stamp, let me direct your attention to the East where you’ll see scenic Lighthouse Park. In my opinion as a professional security-guard-slash-bodyguard, a local teen is using the place as his hideout and I’ve seen him with binoculars, so I’d refrain from changing in front of the apartment windows if I were you.”

Priyanka blinked and said, “This is a surprisingly informative tour. Remind me to bring you along the next time there’s a work function in Empire City.”

Doug shot her a wink and resumed talking as they walked North on Thayer Street. “I will. Now, on your right is the local car wash, owned and operated by the retired rock star Greg Universe.”

“That _can’t_ be his real name,” Priyanka quibbled.

Doug scratched his chin. “No, he changed it from DeMayo before his career took off.”

“Oh, someone’s a fan,” teased Pri. “Did you ask for a hand-written receipt to try and get his autograph?”

_She knows too much!_

“I’ll have you know some of his shop’s electronics got a little fried while he and his wife were away for a funeral. As such he had to take the receipt manually on carbon paper. And I’m saving the receipt. For tax purposes,” said Doug in a nonchalant tone of voice.

“And the frame around the receipt?” came her playful addition.

“Also for tax purposes,” he answered straight-faced. 

That earned him a snort from the good doctor, which was too much for his poker face as he split into a happy grin.

They turned onto Waterman, walking away from the car wash. A few paces later they had to step aside to allow a brown-skinned girl in running clothes jog past, the pizza boxes she was holding bouncing with her stride. The girl looked familiar though Doug couldn’t quite place her.

“That’s one way to help offset eating food like that,” observed Pri as she watched the girl round the corner.

“Believe me, Beach City has far worse to worry about than greasy food or teens with binoculars and high vantage points.”

“Oh? Is there a wrong side of the postage stamp I should steer clear of? Or maybe,” and she pulled herself in close against Doug, “I should find myself a bodyguard.” 

Doug smiled, walking in silence. It had been long enough since… before, that having Pri alongside him still felt exciting instead of merely comfortable.

“The strong, silent type?” she said after a time, pulling Doug from his reverie. “Not the best quality in a tour guide.”

“Right. Sorry. I was distracted for some reason,” he said, giving her an easy smile. Then he motioned across to the nest of piers and broken pylons extending out of the water. “Those are the docks. That’d be an example of one of the hazards of Beach City.”

Priyanka raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun while she took in the sight. “Shipping accident?” she guessed.

“Gem monster,” answered Doug. “Big one from the description Connie gave me.”

Priyanka raised an eyebrow as she looked at Doug, her hand returning to thread his fingers in between her own. “Connie saw a monster attack the docks?”

Doug took in a breath, his grip on Pri’s hand growing firmer without his realizing it. “More than that. She and the aforementioned rock star’s son fought it. Poofed it, which is the term for when one of those things takes enough abuse to go from being a monster with a gemstone to being just a gemstone.”

The pair walked in silence save for the noises of the amusement park they were slowly approaching.

“You’ve told me all these stories, Doug. You’ve even shown me a few videos. But, when we’re all together in the apartment and she’s this sweet, nervous girl who plays violin with her dad…” Pri stopped walking and looked at Doug, the worry lines around her eyes visible. “Is she safe? Should she be doing… all that? Gemstone or no, she’s still so _young._ ”

Doug gripped Pri’s hand and returned the look as steadily as he could, though in truth his insides were a writhing mass of worry. That the feeling was _familiar_ had never made it any less noticeable for him.

“A girl like Connie, with a mom like Citrine; I think the safest thing for her is to get all the training she can.” Doug gave a heavy sigh but held Priyanka’s gaze, studying her face while he did. _Her lovely face, riddled with concern for my little girl,_ he observed with a mix of feelings welling up inside him.

Like holding something warm that, in another second of contact, would cross over into burning your hand, his feelings got to be too much for him and Doug turned away. He gave an expansive sigh. “What the gems do is important. For the town and, well, the world. But if that were it, I’d’ve found the safest patch of dirt on this planet, chartered a boarding school on that spot, and enrolled Connie in it. Ya know, like any reasonable father,” he said with a weak chuckle.

Pri wrapped her arms around him from behind and pulled him close. Her smell ( _cumin and disinfectant_ ) filled Doug’s nostrils as he breathed heavily, her support unspoken but conveyed all the same. “When I visited her during her last birthday I realized just how much was happening and, more than that, just how much being a part of it all mattered to her. She had hidden so much from me because she didn’t want to worry her silly old dad with monsters and magical powers and feeling small in the shadow of a mother she’ll never speak with and yet sees every time she wears a loose-fitting shirt.”

He turned back to Pri, hoping his face looked resolute instead of pained. “I can’t take that from her and I’d only drive her away if I tried. That birthday was a wake up call. Made me rethink a lot of things.”

Priyanka led him back into a walk, each with an arm around the other’s waist. “Like moving back to the postage stamp?”

Doug nodded, then said, “It made me ready to move back and ready to move on.” He firmed up his hold on Priyanka’s hip. “I’m glad you were patient enough to give me time.”

“Not that I’m surprised, though,” he added after a pause, the hint of a smile on his lips.

Priyanka turned and gave Doug an unimpressed look. “Doug, if you make the _‘doctor having patience’_ joke, I may have to point out the nerve cluster between your external abdominal oblique muscle and your coxal.”

Doug assumed a look of innocence. “Firstly, I took enough martial arts to know about that pressure point. And secondly, I would never make such a joke… out loud. But if you happen to think it, well then- ow- ow- ow- okay, I give! Clearly my point about your forbearance was misplaced,” he said, mock-hurt but smiling (though his side _was_ smarting slightly).

Perhaps to change the subject, Priyanka motioned to the amusement park while the sounds of distant, roller coaster-induced screams rose and fell. “So, tour guide, what’s the scoop on Funland?”

“The proprietor is an ex-comedian who, near as I can tell, never sleeps. He also runs the arcade across town. I used to go to the amusement park all the time back before Connie was born. At least, I did until I was attacked by giant bee monsters with drills for hands,” he said, then noticed Priyanka’s look of incredulity and added, “Honest.”

“How’d you get out of that one?”

“Citrine walloped them while I did a very manly job making sure the plush she’d won didn’t fly out of the roller coaster car.”

“Is there anywhere in this town you haven’t been attacked by bizarre, gem-studded fauna?” she asked.

“I got wrapped up in a kind of pod thing once in the arcade and I’m pretty sure that monster was aping flora instead of fauna,” he said with a smile as they turned down Chesapeake Street.

She raised an eyebrow. “Did Citrine pluck you out of that one, mister pedant?”

Doug chuckled. “At that point I’d been training enough to be less of a damsel in distress. Plus I was already working weekends with Marco as a rent-a-cop. So I tasered the thing and then used my Maglite to pry the top open and crawl out. That and I use weed spray for my cologne.”

Priyanka shook her head, rolling her eyes but unable to hide her amusement. “I’m going to believe this is all a defense mechanism you developed living in a pristine, seaside town with weekly calamities. Which, incidentally, begs the question of why anyone lives here in the first place.”

“Wanna know how much my rent is?” Doug challenged.

Priyanka nodded, her eyes twinkling from the verbal sparring match.

Doug told her. 

She stared at him in open-mouthed surprise.

“Yup,” he said, “provided you don’t mind being somewhere in the middle of the food chain, you too can live in one of the nicest and cheapest places in all of Delmarva, complete with sparkling beaches and prodigious government subsidies. Anyway,” he said, encompassing the modest, local bank they’d approached, “we’re here. I need to pick up a couple hundred in cash: there’s an emergency fund I keep at the Beach House for Connie that needs restocking.”

“Oh. Alright," Priyanka said, blinking at the transition. A beat later she added, "I hope everyone is okay,” the worry lines showing up once more around her eyes.

“From what Peridot told me, a big chunk of it got spent at the car wash,” said Doug as he held the door open for Pri.

“No wonder Mr. Universe gave you that signature,” she drawled.

“He even threw in the frame for free. Said he ought to. You know, for tax purposes.”

* * *

\---The Beach House, April 9th---

Peridot was pacing up and down the length of the Beach House, the activity in the kitchen having been safely set aside and her floating fingers returned to their default positions. An incoherent but constant nasally grumbling followed in her wake.

Jasper was attempting a look of stoicism but getting something more in the vicinity of 'trying to keep her lunch down'.

Lapis' gale of laughter was just beginning to die down. A few knee slaps later and Lapis wiped her eyes then managed to say, "Really? Someone actually digs the Doug? Great! Maybe he'll darken our door less often now that he's got someone else to make miserable. I wish them both many ugly babies. May they barf on his face."

Connie and Peridot both cringed, either at the harshness of the statement, the mention of other babies, or both.

"Though less colorful, that is the crux of my concern," said Peridot, still pacing. "What if this 'doctor' demands resources as signs of fidelity? What if they have an additional offspring?! Such events could cause Doug to revise his allocation of material support. Are Lapis and I going to have to work at the Big Donut to provide for Connie's fiduciary needs?!" cried the gem.

Jasper's expression shifted to 'ate a live frog'.

Connie's free hand went to her gemstone without her realizing it. "Um, guys, I didn't expect to be the voice of calm here but, I mean, they're just dating. It might not last. Right?" she asked, her voice a little pleading (and her shirt suffering from severe static cling).

Peridot stopped and rubbed her chin with a spare finger-equivalent. "Connie has a point: recent sociological studies indicate that more than half of all marriages end in divorce."

"And the other half end in death," quipped Lapis cheerily.

Connie buried her face in her hands, her hair frizzing out significantly.

“Man, Con-con, did Jasper use a balloon to noogie you or-”

Jasper got up, the furniture creaking with the movement, and took a step towards the warp pad. "I'm going on-" then she paused. The Quartz looked at Connie, Peridot, and finally at Lapis. 

"I'm going to help with dinner," she corrected and strode into the kitchen.

"Oh! Are you even aware of the dish being prepared this evening?" asked Peridot, caught off guard by the sudden assistance.

Jasper looked at Peridot. "Is it grilled cheese? No? Then just give me something to chop."

Lapis chuckled and was about to say something when suddenly several of the lights in the Beach House flickered. "Whoa. Apparently the house is as confused about OJ cooking as I am. Spirits," said Lapis, addressing the air, "give us a sign. What should we eat for diii~nnerrr~?" finished the gem, saying the last word with a melodramatic tremble.

The lights flared for a moment, there was a sharp pop from over by the breaker box, and then the interior went dark save for the waning sunlight that filtered in.

Everyone froze save Connie, who looked up to see what'd happened. Her hair was poofed out impressively.

"Apparently the spirits want us to have _short_ cake," drawled Lapis.

* * *

\---The Beach House, April 23rd---

The credits to _The Emperor's New Groove_ played while Connie idly stroked Lapis' fur. It had taken the gem several tries to get it right but she'd insisted she try on the form after seeing the villain, Yzma, changed into a purple cat.

Connie had emphatically vetoed her suggestion of transforming into a llama.

The movie completed, the blue feline batted at Connie's fingers before padding a few steps away and saying, "That's about as long as I can hold that form. Time for a shape break."

There was a shimmer of light, the mattress creaked from the added weight, and then Lapis was lying there on her stomach. She kept the tail, though, and used it to tickle Connie's bare feet.

"Hey!" said Connie, who dipped her fingers in the glass of water on her bedside table, then flicked the droplets on the gem. "Bad kitty. No Pocky for you."

"Threaten to withhold Pocky? You fiend!" said Lapis melodramatically as the tail vanished. "Eh, just as well: it felt wrong to be in a form that dislikes getting wet."

The gem sat up and stretched. "So, what'll it be next, girlie? Oh, maybe a little _Aladdin?_ Ain't never had a friend like me, eh, eh?" she said, gently elbowing Connie through her pajamas.

Connie started to laugh but it quickly became a grimace. "I watched that a little too recently, actually," she half-lied.

 _Just ask,_ Connie thought. _You know you want to. Just ask her._

“Um ... Lapis?” Connie said.

“Yeah, Con-con?”

Connie rubbed her elbow.

“Where ...” Connie cleared her throat. “I mean ... where exactly did you go?”

Lapis’s eyes went wide for a moment, before she broke into a grin. She waved one hand.

“Eh, nowhere as cool as here, obviously,” she said with a chuckle.

Connie didn’t laugh back. In fact, hearing Lapis laugh at her question just made it worse. She wanted something more satisfying. Like perhaps, just as an example, _an answer._

“I mean, i-it’s just that you were gone so long and I--”

“Oh hey! I almost forgot!” Lapis exclaimed. “Peridot mentioned something _interesting_ earlier ...” She cocked an eyebrow as her smile showed all her teeth. “I heard somebody had Pinkie Pie over for a long slumber party, eh?”

“I ...” Connie gave a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I guess I did but--”

“Oh, now, now!” Lapis wagged her finger. “You can’t just drop that bomb on me and not expect me to pry. Details!”

Connie narrowed her eyes.

 _Yeah, Lapis, it’s a little ironic that you’re the one demanding details,_ she thought bitterly. It took everything Connie had not to say that out loud. _I'm really happy Lapis is back but ... Come on, is it so much to ask to have her just acknowledge what happened? To say something?_

But Connie didn’t let it show on her face. Without meaning to, she reached out and took Lapis' hand, as though to stop her if she tried to fly away again.

“Well ... it was kinda cool ... I guess,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Right, right. What else? Did he bring pajamas?” Lapis asked.

“Yeah.”

Lapis tilted her head.

“Did you liiike them?” Lapis pressed.

Connie tossed a pillow at Lapis' face. She tried to ignore the part of her mind that wished it was something much heavier.

Lapis took the pillow and considered it with a calculating expression.

“Okay ... hmm ... so that’s what we’re doing,” Lapis said.

Without warning, Lapis took the pillow in one hand and bopped Connie on the head.

“Hey!” Connie said, chuckling despite herself. She grabbed another pillow. “Okay, you’re gonna get it now. Prepare for--”

“Pre-emptive strike!” Lapis said as she hit Connie on the head again.

With another laugh, Connie pushed the darker thoughts out of her mind and hit Lapis with the pillow. Rising to their feet, they whapped each other over and over until Connie lost her balance and flopped onto the mattress. Lapis clutched her stomach and fell down on the bed with her, both of them dissolving into a giggling mess.

As frustrated as Connie was, she did miss moments like this.

* * *

It was only after she went to bed, when all the other gems were in the temple and Connie was left alone with her thoughts, that it bothered her all over again.

Her mind was churning darkly and she was unable to sleep.

Most of the two weeks since Lapis' return were about the same as the pillow fight. If Connie said or asked anything that even approached New Year’s Eve or what Lapis had been doing since, she changed the subject immediately or dodged the question. And then Lapis would do something funny or do something fun and it would leave Connie just ... confused and conflicted.

She didn’t get it. Jasper and Peridot seemed to be handling all this fine. As far as Connie could tell, she was the only one who wanted answers, wanted some kind of explanation ...

 _Or maybe an apology,_ Connie thought, drawing the blanket to her face. _That’s not too much to ask, right? I mean, she was gone for months. Who knows if she even THOUGHT about me at all with how she’s acting? She’s just ..._

Connie took her pillow from under her, brought it to her face, and screamed as loud as she could before tossing it aside.

 _Why can’t anything ever be normal around here?!,_ Connie thought. A moment later she amended with, _Or, well, the right kind of weird._

Connie’s hair suddenly felt fritzy. She could almost feel electricity dancing off it.

_And now I have Force Lightning in my hair so I’m probably at the start of my supervillain origin story. GREAT!_

Connie sighed. It would have been nice if she had someone to at least talk to ...

She stopped. She looked over at her phone. She turned it on.

It was four in the morning. Apparently Connie had been tossing and turning over all the Lapis stuff for almost five hours.

Considering how much her eyes stung, that sounded about right.

She opened her contacts and hovered over Steven’s face. She almost considered not calling. He’d definitely still be asleep and Connie felt foolish for even wanting to call so early.

A static jolt from an errant hair shocking her neck made her consider otherwise.

 _Nope, Force Lightning getting stronger. I should probably talk to someone,_ Connie mentally deadpanned.

She clicked on Steven’s face. The phone rang. After a moment, Steven answered.

“Hey Connie,” he said with a yawn. “It’s a little early, is everything o--”

“Can I come over?” Connie said abruptly. “Like ... right now?”

There was a pause.

“I’m ... I’m not still dreaming or anything, right?” Steven said slowly.

“No, it’s just ...” Connie's spare hand squeezed the sheets in a white-knuckle grip. “I need some like ... make-sure-I-don’t-turn-evil talk right about now.”

“Really? What’s wrong?”

“It’s ... I’d really like to come over and tell you.”

“Oh! Um ... okay, yeah, let me just tell my mom real quick.”

“Great. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Connie hung up the phone and exhaled as she started to get dressed.

* * *

Connie knocked on the door. For a moment there was no answer. She was about to reach for her phone when there was a click and Steven swung the door open. He was wearing banana pajamas. His cheeks were red with embarrassment.

“Sorry, with telling mom what was going on and getting some snacks and drinks ready, I kinda forgot to change into something less... well, banana-y,” Steven mumbled.

A weak but sincere smile appeared, the first Connie had mustered in hours. "It's fine, Steven. I'm really..." and she gave an expansive sigh while she stopped to try and bat some of the frizzed-out hair from her face. 

Across the house, a light was on in the kitchen. Connie thought she could hear the sound of someone sip from a mug before clicking sedately on a laptop.

"Thanks for letting me come over," she finally managed.

They went up to Steven’s room. A small platter of snacks was resting on his bedside, as well as two steaming mugs: one containing tea, the other, hot cocoa.

As soon as Steven closed the door behind him, he looked to Connie. “So?” he asked.

“Ugh!” Connie flopped down on his bed, arms outstretched. “This is so awful I can’t even sleep. Why is it that every week I run into something new that just makes me feel like a _bad person?!_ ”

“Whoa, whoa, just ... slow down,” Steven said as he fiddled with his hearing aids. He sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

Connie turned to her side, away from Steven.

"You know how Lapis came back about two weeks ago?" Connie asked.

"Yeah. We had that donut party, built a 'pastry spire,' whatever that is," Steven said, making finger quotes when referring to the short-lived faux-gem structure, "and... I mean, everything seemed great. Why, is she alright?"

Connie turned back to Steven with an intense look in her eyes.

“Oh _yeah,_ ” she snapped. “Everything’s _great!_ In fact, everyone’s acting like nothing that happened was even a big deal, like she wasn’t gone for three months and that New Years never happened and that all that stuff about me sorta directly ruining Lapis and everyone else’s lives never got said, so yeah, everything’s _super!_ ”

Steven put his hand to his mouth as Connie frowned. She curled up in a ball on the bed.

“Sorry,” she muttered. “That’s kinda why I needed to talk ...”

“Yeah,” Steven said, his voice soft. “I’m sorry you’re feeling bad.”

“I’m sorry too! I feel like ...” Connie sat up, looking down at the floor before drawing her eyes back up to Steven. “Is there just something _wrong_ with me? Am I wrong for not just being happy that she’s back?”

“What? No!” Steven objected. “You have every right to be upset.”

“I don’t know ... I missed her so much while she was gone. And now that she’s back, the fact she's just acting like nothing happened and that everything was fine just ...” Connie gritted her teeth and could feel the sheets of Steven’s bed start to static cling to her.

“I know, I know,” Steven said. He laid a hand on Connie’s knee. There was a shock as he pulled his hand back. “Ouch.”

“Sorry. That's another thing: I'm getting staticky a lot these days and I'm pretty sure I've been making the lights flicker at home. When Lapis first came back I managed to cause a power outage; Peridot spent the next morning rewiring the Beach House." Connie looked up at Steven, her hair defying gravity, the edges swaying due to the room's overhead fan. "I told you how Tonnie used bite-sized Sith Lightning. Well, I'm worried I'm leaking Dark Side all over the place and that my evil literally shocked you.”

“You’re not evil!” Steven said. “You’re just ... upset. And magical. Those are totally different. Everyone gets upset sometimes. Even I do.”

“Yeah, but you’re, like, adorable about it. I get super-scary super powers.”

“They’re not sca-- wait, adorable?”

Connie snorted and nodded, parts of her hair picking up the movement a little after the fact.

“B-but I don’t wanna be adorable when I’m upset!” Steven said. “I’m a big, tough manly man!”

There was a brief silence before Steven immediately lowered his head.

“Okay yeah, no, no part of that is true,” Steven said.

Connie let out an even louder laugh, flopping back onto the bed in the process. She wasn’t sure why, but the fact she was upset made her laugh even harder.

“Oh gosh, I’m a nutcase,” she said, watching the aluminum fan turn overhead to distract from the wheels turning fruitlessly in her own mind.

Steven shimmied a little closer to the girl. He absent-mindedly plucked a grape off the untouched snack tray, his expression screwed up in concentration.

“Have you tried talking to Lapis about it?” Steven asked.

Connie blinked.

“No ... I mean ...” Connie rubbed her temple, kicking up little sparks with the motion. “Talking about feelings is, historically speaking, bad for Lapis.”

“But look how much it’s helped lately! I mean ... what about all that stuff with Peridot and Jasper a while back?”

“Well ... I mean, yeah, I guess. I just ...” Connie pressed her palms into her eyes, either from sleepiness, stress, or both. “The thing I’m really afraid of ... like ... really, really afraid of ... is what if I go to talk to her about this ... and she just leaves again?”

Steven laid down parallel to her, frowning up at the fan. “I mean ... she wouldn’t do that...” he said, trailing off.

“Are you really that sure?” Connie asked, an edge creeping into her voice.

Steven didn’t answer. 

“Yeah ... that’s what I thought,” Connie said.

Both laid there, staring at the fan. The yellow of Steven's pajamas and of Connie's gemstone were blurred but visible in the reflection off the fan's spinning blades.

“I still think you should talk to her,” Steven said eventually. “Things might not get better if you don’t. And that's not good, even when you aren't charging up with stress-lightning.”

Connie frowned. “I’ll ... think about it,” she mumbled.

“Would a hug help?” Steven asked innocently.

“... maybe,” she eventually answered.

Both of them sat up, mussed up curls and gravity-defying hair silhouetting the pair.

Steven leaned in and pulled Connie into a hug, neither flinching away from the loud crackle that announced the contact. They lingered for a moment before Connie backed away, her face feeling flush.

“Thanks for helping me stay grounded,” she said, brushing her hair from her eyes. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s okay,” Steven said. “Sorry for like ... being here in my dumb kid pajamas.”

At his invitation, she took the mug of warm cocoa and took a long drink. Her hair became visibly calmer as she did.

Wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she chuckled and said. “It’s fine. I think they're...” and she drifted off, inviting him to finish.

Steven set his mug of tea down in his lap. His groan morphed into a chuckle of his own. "...a- _peel_ -ing. At least you're keeping me _current_ on your powers."

"For the record, the 'grounded' pun earlier was unintentional," said Connie between bites of a Milano cookie.

"I'm _shocked,_ " said Steven, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Things only devolved from there until, eventually, Mary shooed Connie home.

Connie was asleep by the time her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a fantastically prolific week for fan content! Literally unprecedented! So let’s dive in:
> 
> *) [War Never Changes](https://mystarduststories.tumblr.com/post/164654160836/war-never-changes-by-hc) by [H_C](http://archiveofourown.org/users/H_C/pseuds/H_C) \- "Lapis has finally returned and Connie has had some growing questions about the war." Based on the Connie Swap Discord prompt of the same name.
> 
> *) [The Quest for the Specially Marked Box](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/26942838) by [Cyberwraith9](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyberwraith9/pseuds/Cyberwraith9) \- "A shopping trip with Peridot quickly becomes an endurance trial for Connie, until the pair encounter a despicable foe intent on keeping them both from their heart’s desire: for Peridot, a treasure she thought she lost long ago, and for Connie, getting her afternoon back."
> 
> *) [Home Is Where the Dot Is](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27008466) by [SilverScribe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScribe/pseuds/SilverScribe) \- "Lapis wants to spend some quality time with her favorite gem on her first night back at the beach house."
> 
> *) [Babysitters Lars and Sadie: Featuring the Jelly Buds](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11926128) by [Jess4400](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jess4400/pseuds/Jess4400) \- "Lars and Sadie watch Steven while Mary is away. Connie gets into some trouble with a new friend. Steven's just happy that the jelly from the donuts makes a good hair gel."
> 
> *) And finally there is [this video](https://ispeakvid.tumblr.com/post/164728723124/this-is-a-lapidot-vid-for-the-connieswap-team-to) that [thelittlemerms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelittlemerms/pseuds/thelittlemerms) (a.k.a. mermaid in the Discord) created about Lapis and Peridot, set to the tune of _Bei Mir Bist Du Schon_ (i.e. the song Lapis and Peridot fused to).
> 
> A big, big thank you to all of our amazing fans for all of their wonderful creations.
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you have a Connie Swap story burning in your soul that you want to see in our official, curated Omake collection, drop us a comment either in the Omake fic or here in the main fic and we'll get in touch.
> 
> Connie Swap has an official Discord for the fans. [Come check it out.](https://discord.gg/RQMDdhr)
> 
> As usual, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and your asks at the [Connie Swap Tumblr](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/). Thanks for reading!


	2. Collision Discourse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you’re wondering about the encounter where Doug thought Mary hated him, that would be a reference to the Boss Fight alluded to in Episode 7, Chapter 1. [CoreyWW](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW) was even kind enough to write a (mostly) canon omake detailing that encounter called [The Boss Fight](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/24706131). Consider checking it out.

“Here ya go,” Greg said, twisting open a bottle of cherry soda and handing it to Doug.

Doug waggled his drink in salute to his host, took a sip, and settled into one of the couches in Greg’s mellow room. It seemed to be a regular hangout for them now. Honestly, Doug rather liked it, though some of the posters could be pretty distracting; he could see why Mary didn't want them visible to the shopping public. Anyway, it had been a long time since he'd relaxed with someone who wasn’t a co-worker, aside from Priyanka, of course.

Finishing another sip, Doug gave a pleased sigh and said, "Thanks, Greg. And thanks for loaning me that lifting belt," and he tossed the reason for his visit over to Greg. "Pri's been on me about my back since the move and that really seemed to help. I'm surprised you had one, though. Isn't that what roadies are for, mister rockstar?"

Greg set the belt on an amp, then bent and pulled out a soda from the mini-fridge for himself. The rocker twisted the top off, tossed the cap in the trash, chuckled, and said, "Oh man, it only takes one show with decent roadies before you vow you'll never perform any other way. But the belt is just one of those things from my one-man show days that I never managed to get rid of. Between the garage, the U-Stor, and the barn, I think I've got at least one of everything. Finding it, though, that’s the tricky part."

Greg walked around and flopped down in a particularly old and durable-looking recliner, then reached over to steady a guitar stand that he'd disturbed. Doug noticed that, no matter where you sat in this room, you were always within arm's reach of a guitar.

"I'm sure it's been a busy couple of weeks for you," said the musician, putting his feet up. "It's nice that you've had Priyanka and Connie around to help out."

Doug nodded. "Yeah, it has. Pri's back at the apartment right now, no doubt wondering about my taste as she unboxes stuff I've had since, well, since before Connie was born." His eyes widened. "Oh, jeez, I think we grabbed some of the boxes of cookware I swiped from mother's kitchen back in the day. That's going to make for an interesting discussion."

"That sounds like a story," invited Greg.

Doug shook his head. "If we talked about my, um, departure from the noble house of Maheswaran, we'd run out of drinks. And I really can't stay all that long anyway: getting you your lift belt back was just the first on my list of errands to run for the day."

"Sure, sure," said Greg. A calm silence passed before he asked, "So, how're things since you moved back to town?”

Doug started to give a breezy 'fine' when he stopped himself. _Is it?_ , he thought. 

A moment later he said, “I dunno ...”

“Things aren’t good?” the rocker asked, sitting up in his recliner.

“No, I mean ... things are okay,” Doug said. “Priyanka did get a little miffed at me on the day of the move.”

“Oh dang. Though I think spats on moving day don't count as much. Big boxes, big tempers.”

“Heh, true. But, it was my own fault. She um ... she was a little upset I hadn’t told Connie about her until recently. Like ... super super recently. As in ... not even telling her I was dating someone or that she even existed.”

“Oh ...” Greg grimaced. “Yeaaah, I can see how she’d be bothered about that.”

“It’s okay, we talked it out. She’s patient if nothing else,” Doug said.

Greg smirked and looked about to say something when Doug added, “And word to the wise: don’t make the ‘patient doctor’ joke within arm’s reach of her. She knows exactly where to jab you to make her displeasure known.”

The musician chuckled and tapped the side of his nose.

Doug took another drink, swallowed, then sighed. “But that’s not the only thing. I’m also kinda worried about Connie.”

“Yeah?”

“She's kinda awkward when Pri's around ... I mean, not that I can really blame her. I’m sure this is kinda new for her. But even when it’s just the two of us, there’s a barrier there. I dunno, I thought living closer would make getting closer easier, but it almost feels harder sometimes. One minute we’re having fun and that’s great, but the next minute she leaves and… I guess she’s hoping I don’t notice how uncomfortable she’s gotten. And that’s on me, you know? I’m the dad. I’m ...” Doug leaned back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m the one she’s supposed to tell everything to.”

Greg nodded. “Well ... you know, I’m sure it’s new for her too,” he said. “Plus she’s got a lot going on. I mean, with Lapis back, it's really wearing on the girl and--”

Doug’s eyes went wide.

“Wait, _really?!_ " exclaimed Doug, adding, "I thought she was overjoyed to have that blue gadfly back."

Greg blinked.

“I’m ... sorry I thought you knew. Though maybe yesterday was the breaking point for her. I only know cause um ...” Greg’s eyes darted around.

“Cause why?”

“Cause um ... Connie kinda called really early this morning and showed up to talk to Steven because she was upset about Lapis, I guess. I was asleep but Mary told me. I uh, I didn’t know you didn’t know about it.”

Doug clenched his fist.

“My daughter showed up to meet your son _at night and I didn’t know about it?!_ ”

“Doug, deep breaths, calming breaths ... everything’s fine. My wife was there. Don’t try to kill my son. It’s allllll fine.”

Doug was still for a moment, before he inhaled and exhaled.

“ _Okay_ ...” he mumbled. Doug let out a bitter laugh. “But that’s just what I mean like ...” Doug set his soda on the coffee table and rubbed his temple. “I thought I’d be the first person she’d want to talk to if she was so upset. Instead, I’m the last one to find out.”

Greg frowned. He sat up on the edge of his seat and reached out to put his hand on Doug’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, come on, it’s okay,” Greg said. “You two just need some more quality time together, that’s all. And, you know what?” Greg gave a weak smile. “I think I might have just the thing to help.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was gonna send out invitations today, but Mary and I wanted to have a party on the beach. You know, play some music, have some good food, that sorta thing. And of course you and Connie are invited.”

Doug gave a wry chuckle. “I’m surprised. I kinda thought your wife hated me.”

“She doesn’t _hate_ you. That whole argument was just a misunderstanding. She just needs more time to get to know you too. Besides, a good word from me means a lot.”

“Heh ... thanks,” Doug said.

“And of course the gems can come. I was going to have Steven let them all know today. I was hoping a nice party might be a good way to make up for ... you know, how our last get-together turned out.”

“That wasn’t your fault, though. In fact, your house took damage because of ... all that.”

Greg shrugged.

“Ehhh, I was still the host and I should have kept things from getting out of hand. I’ve worked a crowd before and the vibes coming off the rock gals were clear enough.” Greg took a swig. “Oh, and bring Priyanka too. I’m sure Mary and her would get along great.”

“Yeah, they can bond over how mad they can get at me.”

_“That’s the spirit!”_

Doug laughed.

“Yeah ... you know what? I think you’re right. It’d be good for Pri to get to meet everyone in a casual environment. And being at a party with Connie would be nice. I mean, even when it was her birthday it was really just the two of us. Maybe this will help shake things up.” Doug nodded. “Yeah ... yeah, this’ll be fun. This is a great idea.”

* * *

_“That’s a terrible idea!”_ Connie said as soon as Steven told her the news.

“It is?” Steven frowned, lingering in the Beach House entryway. “I thought it would be a lot of fun ...”

“No, I...” Connie rubbed her temples. “I mean, yeah, normally a party might be fine, even though I’m ... not really a party person. That’s not the problem. The problem is all the gems being there!”

“Oh!” Steven entered the house, closing the screen door behind him. “You’re worried about something like New Year’s happening again, huh?”

“Of course!” Connie began to pace back and forth in the living room. “I mean, Lapis only recently came back. What if this time is even worse than New Year's?” The lights began to flicker. “What if Hiddenite forms again and everyone gets mad at each other and everyone leaves and I end up in the Beach House by myself? I’d have to live with my dad and his new girlfriend, who I have a lot of complex conflicting feelings about, and go to a normal school that I’ve never been to which kinda sorta scares me even though I don’t want to admit that and--”

“Connie!” Steven said, his hands out. “Calm down. You might blow the fuse box.”

Connie, now realizing she was shaking, took a deep breath and exhaled. The flickering overhead tapered off.

“Okay ... okay,” Connie said. “You’re right.” Connie smiled. “I guess it’s really not a big deal. I can just ... ‘forget’ to tell the gems about the party. That can’t be too hard.”

At that moment, Lapis appeared behind the screen door holding a plastic bag.

“Clear the way!” Lapis shouted kicking the screen door open. “Hi Con-con. Hi Pinkie Pie! Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said, giving Connie a conspiratorial wink.

“No! No!” Connie laughed nervously. “Everything’s fine. Um ... what’s in that bag?”

“Oh, just some donuts,” Lapis said looking in the sack. “Also some cool party stuff I got for the party.”

“I ...” Connie’s face went pale. “Party?”

“Yeah, while I was getting donuts, I ran into Mr. Rock Star Dad and he invited me. All of us, actually!” Lapis grinned. “The whole town’s gonna be there. Doesn’t that sound cool?!”

Connie’s eye twitched. The power in the house fluctuated for a second before stabilizing. Lapis looked up skeptically.

“Wow, that new wiring Dot used must have been the cheap stuff,” the gem said. She reached in her bag and pulled out a party blower. “Welp, I’m gonna go grab some cash and get more stuff. I’ll let you two go back to your alone time.” Lapis blew the party favor, which uncoiled inches from Connie’s nose. A tiny spark jumped arced between them.

Connie’s face was frozen in shock, but Lapis apparently didn’t notice as she walked by smiling.

Steven took Connie’s limp hand, his hair starting to frizz with the contact, and led the girl outside to the relative solitude of the patio seats.

“Okay.” Connie felt sweat drip on her forehead. “Alright ... alright, new plan. Maybe if I focus really, really hard, I can zap all the gems' brains so they forget there’s a party!”

“Okay, um ...” Steven gently laid a hand on Connie’s shoulder despite the crackle of static. “I may have a better, less morally grey idea.”

“I’m listening.”

“So ... you’re worried about Hiddenite coming back, right?”

Connie managed to nod.

“Right!” Steven clasped his hands together. “Here’s what I’m gonna do: when you all get to the party, what if I just corner Peridot and start talking to her the _entire time_ without stopping? If she’s occupied the whole time by that, she won’t even be able to be near Lapis, let alone fuse with her.”

Connie glanced at the floor, then back at Steven.

“That ... actually sounds like a good plan,” Connie said. “Are you sure you can talk for hours like that though?”

Steven raised an eyebrow.

“Connie, you have met me, right?” Steven said.

Connie giggled.

"Now, we gotta talk strategy," said Steven, leaning across the table while Connie nodded. "I'll try and stay hydrated, but if I'm too far away from the drink table, we'll need a signal so you can run some punch over. Would the ear wiggle work? Oh, maybe if I'm holding my cup in my left hand then that's your cue."

Connie smirked. "You know, Steven, this is starting to remind me of you and the Cool Kids at Fish Stew Pizza."

Steven rubbed the back of his neck and gave a weak chuckle. "Heh, yeah that wasn't the best idea ever, but this time it's totally going to work!" he said, reacquiring his characteristic enthusiasm as he spoke.

"Why's that?"

The boy smiled. "Because, this time it's you and me working together. With your smarts and my encyclopedic knowledge of sitcom plots, this is going to work, guaranteed!"

Connie couldn't help but smile at his infectious cheer. Once more her hair had managed to de-frizz during the course of talking things out with Steven.

"Destiny-" he began, standing up from the patio and extending his right hand in an invitation for a fist bump.

Connie stood, met his fist with her own, and finished, "-Partners."

Steven's fist turned clockwise and he stuck his thumb out so that he was making a thumbs up that kind of looked like a lower-case 'd'. Connie, at the same time, rotated her fist counterclockwise and made a thumbs down, or a 'p'.

Then they swiveled their fists so Connie was the thumbs up and Steven, the thumbs down. They wiggled their thumbs at each other, made little hand explosions with their fingers, then both said at once, "Destiny Partners!"

* * *

Lapis landed on the porch lightly, retracting her water wings and skipping to the door. Her bags of party favors jostled and swayed in her arms.

Every time the door to the Beach House was destroyed and rebuilt, Lapis made a point of putting the hinge on the opposite side. The confusion this caused the others, Jasper and Doug especially, was hilarious.

The hinge was still on the right-hand side, like it had been after Lapis had accidentally flooded the Beach House with sea water, salmon, and Stevedore back in December.

 _Glad the others didn't have too much fun while I was away,_ thought the gem with a smile as she bumped the door open with her hip.

Of Connie or her pal in pink, there was no sign. Same for OJ. However, Dot sat on the couch, making adjustments to Wally, her floating fingers moving methodically like assembly line robots.

Lapis set her bags down by the entryway and leaned against the wall, taking in the scene.

It was a little ... unusual seeing Peri looking so different. No visor, just glasses and frizzy hair. Not that it looked _bad._ Peridot never looked _bad_. It was just ... different.

Dot snapped Wally’s casing back on. Wally let out a string of beeps and rolled off her lap. Probably off to go clean something. Dot glanced over to Lapis.

“Lapis? Salutations. Is something amiss?” Periberry asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

Lapis’ eyes went wide. Feeling embarrassed she was caught staring, she shifted back into character.

She tilted her head and smiled.

“Oh, I was just admiring your new bod, P-pod,” Lapis said.

New face or not, when Periwinkle’s cheeks flushed blue, she looked just as adorable as she ever did.

P-dotty tilted her head down. The fingers on her limb enhancers seemed to be floating of their own their own accord now. 

Lapis grinned. “Flustered?”

“No,” Peri denied in vain.

Lapis looked the technician up and down, starting to think maybe her new form was growing on her after all.

The Blue gem sauntered up to the couch, walking her fingers along the back until they touched Peridot’s shoulder.

“It looks _really_ cute,” Lapis said. “I’m kinda curious what it’s like ...” Lapis crouched allowing her fingers to trail down a green arm until they gently touched a limb enhancer. “Without the hardware.”

“I ...” P-dot’s face was flushed. She seemed barely able to form words. “That’s ... I don’t think ...”

“Come on, you don’t need to be shy around me,” Lapis cooed. “Just relax.”

She heard Dipdot gulp.

Lapis leaned in and put her lips close to Peri's ear and whispered, “ _You could call me ‘Lazuli’ like you used to.”_

She closed her eyes, moving her lips closer.

But all of a sudden, Peridot stood up, breaking from Lapis’ proximity. Lapis’ eyes popped open, stunned.

 _Okay, this is new,_ she thought.

“Peri?” Lapis said.

Peridot didn’t turn around. “Lapis, I think I would like to be alone for now,” she said with a chill in her voice.

The Blue gem shook her head.

“I ... did I ... what’s the problem?” she asked, her mind still reeling.

“There’s no problem, I simply require a period of solitude.”

“I ...” Lapis felt a knot in her stomach, but she just nodded. “Okay ... sure.”

Without another word, Peridot marched towards the temple door.

At around the same time, the door opened as Jasper emerged holding a paperback book.

“Excuse me,” Peridot said as she walked past Jasper, bumping the Quartz slightly before disappearing into the temple.

Jasper’s eyebrow was cocked before she turned and noticed Lapis there. She narrowed her eyes.

Lapis frowned.

 _Oh great,_ she thought. _I do_ not _want a glass of OJ right now._

Jasper strode into the living room, gently placing the book on the coffee table.

“What was that about?” the orange obstacle asked.

Lapis blinked, before she waved her hand dismissively, ignoring the bubbling anxiety in her gut.

“Oh nothing,” Lapis said playfully. “Peridork just wanted some time alone.” She chuckled. “Probably off to rebuild Johnny for the millionth time. You know her, right?”

Jasper’s gaze didn’t waver from Lapis. It was clear she didn’t buy that for a second.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Well!” Lapis clapped her hands together. “I’ve certainly enjoyed this engaging conversation, but I’m gonna go!”

Lapis turned her back to Jasper and started towards the door.

“Lapis,” Jasper said, clasping her hand on Lapis’ shoulder.

Ages of old anger boiled inside the Blue gem as she whipped around towards Jasper.

 _“Don’t touch me,”_ Lapis snapped.

Jasper’s hand lingered for a second before she calmly pulled it back.

“... sorry,” Jasper mumbled.

“It’s fine,” Lapis said in a clipped tone.

Jasper cleared her throat.

“Peridot ... needs some time after all this,” Jasper said. “You do know that, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lapis whispered.

“After _Hiddenite._ ”

“ _Who?_ ” Lapis said with a wide fake smile.

Jasper took a deep breath.

“Lapis ... don't pretend nothing happened,” Jasper said.

“I’m not pretending anything,” Lapis replied, her voice steady. She waved her hand. “I’m just over it. Peridot’s over it, Connie’s over it, everyone else is over it, except you. I don’t know what your problem is all of a sudden but--”

“Lapis,” the nosy Quartz interrupted.

“ _What?!_ ” Lapis said raising her voice.

Jasper’s tone was stern, but her voice was quiet.

“You may be able to lie to _yourself_ ... but you can’t lie to me,” Jasper said. “Things are a little different since you left. I know it’s hard but--”

“You don’t know anything, alright?!” Lapis shouted. “We’ve been over this! _I don’t need you to babysit me anymore!_ ”

“I’m not--”

“Oh shut up!” The pipes underneath the kitchen sink began to rattle as Lapis glared at Jasper. “If Peridot's spooked, it's probably because you two had your little fusion fiesta recently. Hiddenite was last year but you two took Hobbes out of her toybox less than a month ago. Ever think of that, you orange ogre?!"

Jasper opened her mouth to respond but Lapis barreled on. "And you know what? I don’t think I need a lesson on pretending everything is fine from you!” She poked Jasper in the chest. “Miss It’s-Never-My-Fault, Miss I-Know-What’s-Best, Miss I’ve-Changed-For-Real-This-Time, Miss Can’t-Stop-Pining-For-Someone-Who- _Never-Cared-About-You-In-The-First-Place!_ ”

_“That’s not true!”_

“Oh, what, what’s that? Don’t feel like hearing the truth after all this time! Why don’t you learn to take a hint for once in your life and realize the world doesn’t revolve around you!”

“ _That’s_ \--” Jasper lowered her voice, then simply shook her head. “Fine. Don’t listen to me.”

Jasper walked past Lapis, tried to open the screen door from the wrong side, growled, and tried from the other side.

“Awesome! _I’ll be sure not to!_ ” Lapis shouted as the door opened and Jasper stepped outside.

Lapis lingered for a moment, alone in the now-empty house.

Peeking through the window, she saw Jasper crouching by the water's edge and staring into the surf. It was part of something Citrine had taught the Quartz to help her calm down. Lapis knew she had been the impetus for the ritual many times in the past.

A little time passed, then the warrior rose and strode in the direction of the town.

After Jasper was out of sight, Lapis' anger subsided, giving way to a sadness she was able to show now that no one was around.

 _Awesome, Lapis,_ she thought. _You’ve succeeded in making yourself just as lonely as you were when you were gone._

She walked over and withdrew a party blower from one of her bags. _Well, at least I came prepared for this one-gem pity party,_ she mentally quipped as she blew it, the little tube unfurling and making an ironically chipper ‘ _fweee!_ ’ sound.

Rather than curling back up, the extended part flipped back to bop Lapis in the eye. _Ow! Stupid karma,_ she groused.

* * *

Priyanka lifted a heavy box onto the table, the word ‘KITCHEN’ scrawled on the side in faded permanent marker. It had come from Doug’s U-Stor storage unit and, judging from the dust and the state of the cardboard, it had been in there for a long time. Using a boxcutter, she sliced along the desicated tape, opened the box, and revealed a stainless steel karahi resting inside a copper uruli. 

Priyanka lifted the first piece of traditional Indian cookware up to inspect it. Inlaid along the side in exquisite filigree was the name ‘Maheswaran’, the sunlight that filtered through the kitchen window heightening the contrast between steel bowl and bronze lettering.

The doctor’s eyebrows shot up and she gave a low whistle at the extravagant cooking implement that had been sitting in a dusty box in an old storage unit for, according to Doug, a decade and a half.

Unbidden, a memory of a three-year-old Anjan using a ladle and her (comparatively plain) karahi for a drum popped into her head. She smiled down at the wok-like bowl, her face transformed to one of wistful nostalgia. _Ah, to be twenty-one and have the energy to be a mother, wife, and pre-med student all at once. I swear I didn’t rediscover sleep until I was out of school... and Anjan was in it._

She placed the contents of the box on the counter alongside the other utensils she had yet to organize. Breaking the empty container down and retrieving another, Priyanka found a tamis, with other cookware visible through the strainer’s wire mesh bottom. She raised an eyebrow and thought, _Did Doug’s parents give him these like Ravinder’s parents did at our wedding? On the rare occasions when Doug talks about his family, it didn’t sound like they much approved of his choice of-_

There was the sound of someone testing the handle to the apartment door. Priyanka had locked it behind Doug when he’d left that morning to run some errands.

“Doug? Is that you?” called Priyanka, twisting around to look at the door. 

He wasn’t due back for another hour or so. Priyanka reached past the tamis to withdraw a heavy, wooden belan.

With a crunch and the sound of metal dropping onto pavement, the door swung slowly open. The doctor held the rolling pin-like object in front of her with a white-knuckle grip.

The largest and most orange person Priyanka had ever seen ducked through the doorway, the giant making almost no sound as they stepped inside. Viewed in profile (the modest kitchen being off to one side of the entryway) Priyanka could see the gleam of light reflecting off the person’s gemstone of a nose.

 _How does someone that big move that quietly?,_ was all she could think as her fight-or-flight response warred with her indignation at one of Connie’s guardians effectively breaking into Doug’s apartment.

The woman -- _Jasper,_ she reminded herself-- surveyed the room like a soldier entering hostile territory. Spotting Priyanka, the orange intruder turned her way, appearing even larger and more heavily-built when viewed en face.

Her expression was neutral as she gave Priyanka an appraising look. The doctor felt like a specimen under a microscope.

The feeling of being silently judged was enough to dispel Priyanka’s indecision. Adopting a scowl she reserved for patients who had ignored her previous medical advice, she looked the woman in her yellow eyes and said, “Knock next time.”

She maintained her grip on the belan.

Jasper surveyed the apartment once more before speaking. 

“I need to talk with Doug.”

Priyanka lowered the arm holding the cooking implement slightly, but only slightly. 

“Seriously, knock next time. Or, better yet, call ahead.”

Jasper didn’t so much roll her eyes as give the impression that a lesser gem would indeed be rolling their eyes right now. 

“It’s important,” she insisted.

Despite how annoyed she was, a distant corner of Priyanka’s mind was impressed with the facial nuance on display.

Placing her fists on her hips, arms akimbo, Priyanka drawled, “Doug’s not home. I’ll take a message.”

Jasper paused, as though translating a complex concept into an unfamiliar language. After a prolonged wait, a gravelly voice said, “I’m following up a matter. It’s about Citrine. And Doug.”

Priyanka waited a moment for more to be said. When Jasper declined to say further, Priyanka _did_ roll her eyes and mentally groused, _Of all the asinine…_

She then blew out a breath and said, “Jasper, Doug has told me about the Crystal Gems, you included. I guess you two used to be at each other’s throats but you reconciled back when he and Citrine were together. He said that since then you’ve been nothing but respectful. And this, whatever this is,” she said, gesturing between the two of them with her free hand, “is anything but. You didn’t tear off the doorknob to be cryptic, so spit it out.”

Jasper narrowed her eyes at Priyanka, prompting the woman to take an involuntary step back. Then, for a split second, Jasper looked almost… insecure, though her poker face reestablished itself a heartbeat later.

There was a period of silence before, in a deep and gravelly voice, Jasper asked, “Are you a great leader?”

Priyanka stared at the Crystal Gem in confusion, stunned by the non sequitur. “Huh?” she said eventually.

“Do you have subordinates? Do they respect you? Do they fear you?” said Jasper, continuing her unexpected line of questioning.

“Jasper, what does this have to do with anything?” replied Priyanka, blinking from the strangeness of the situation.

Undeterred, Jasper continued. “Are you cunning? Are you capable in a fight?” She asked the last question with studied indifference, eyeing the improvised weapon in Priyanka’s grip. 

Priyanka got the distinct impression that she’d have earned the same expression had she been holding a katana.

Before Priyanka could cudgel her brain into formulating an answer, the orange warrior turned to look over the apartment further, though always keeping Priyanka in her peripheral vision. She stopped when she noticed Priyanka’s purse, a stethoscope peeking out the top.

“Connie says you are a doctor. Are you the best doctor there is? Can you heal injuries no other doctor can heal?”

 _She’s an alien and she’s helping raise Connie,_ Priyanka reminded herself. _Keep a civil tongue... for now._

Setting the cooking implement aside, Priyanka answered Jasper’s questions in order, counting them off on her fingers as she went. “No, I’m not a leader, great or otherwise, unless you count rearing a son to adulthood. There are some registered nurses who work in my department; they are in a way subordinate to me though I am neither their supervisor nor their manager. They respect me as much as they respect anyone in a lab coat, and if the gossip is to be believed, several find me intimidating.”

She crossed her arms, trying for an assertive pose though worried it looked defensive. “I’m a surgeon with a higher than average success rate but I’m by no means the best. Now, what is the point of all this, Jasper?”

The large woman seemed to spend a minute absorbing this information, her brows furrowing slightly in thought. “Doug was worthy of Citrine. I don’t know how, exactly, but the point was made clear.” She turned to face Priyanka head-on once more. “I’m trying to figure out if you are worthy of Doug, or if this is a mistake.”

Priyanka’s eyes went wide at that. If she hadn't been before, she was certainly in a defensive posture now. Reacquiring her previous scowl, she advanced a step on Jasper. “And just who are you to judge my worthiness?”

Unphased, the warrior said simply, “I’m the keeper of Citrine’s legacy,” as though that explained _anything_.

A beat later she scowled and added, "Regardless of what others might think."

Priyanka advanced another step. “You people may do things differently, but my place in Doug’s life is a matter that involves him, me, and no one else. Neither Citrine or her legacy have any place in this conversation,” she said crossly.

Jasper shook her head. “You, me, Lapis, Doug, Connie, every human, every animal, every plant, every bacterium on this planet owes its life to Citrine. They are all a part of her legacy. Doug especially.” 

She paused, then began to turn towards the door. “I’ll speak with Connie more. Maybe,” and she pulled a face, “Steven too. They’re better with these things.”

“What things would that be?” said Priyanka in a clipped tone, her voice dripping indignation.

“Humans,” answered Jasper as she pulled the door open. “I’ll talk to Doug later,” she finished, gave Priyanka a curt nod, ducked, and stepped sideways through the door. A beat later and heavy footsteps could be heard descending the stairwell.

Priyanka stood there looking at the empty doorway, anger mingling with relief. She attempted to close the door but found it wouldn’t stay shut with the damage Jasper had inflicted on it. Eventually Priyanka settled for using a few strips of packing tape to keep the door closed; it would keep the bugs out, if no one else.

The doctor turned and looked at the apartment one more time as though viewing it anew. Hanging on one wall was a display of batons and tonfas that Doug owned and had taken considerable care in arranging.

 _What am I getting myself into?,_ thought Priyanka. _Monster-fighting super women? Magic? Ancient wars for the fate of the planet, like something from one of the fiction novels cluttering Doug’s bookshelves?_

She turned and saw the karahi almost glowing in the direct sunlight. Pinned on the fridge nearby were pictures of Connie, ranging from a chubby infant up to a teenager with a shy smile.

Priyanka’s hand went to her chest. Unlike Connie, she wasn’t feeling for a gemstone, but rather feeling the absence of her mangalsutra - the necklace she had worn for the entirety of her previous marriage.

Priyanka’s eyes narrowed as the hand curled into a fist. _I’m doing this because my right to love and happiness didn’t end with an arranged marriage at eighteen. I raised a son through a divorce, put myself back out there, and managed to find a good man. The only person who gets to tell me to leave is him, not some crayon-colored brute with no understanding of civil society!_

She glanced at the apartment’s entrance. _Nor, for that matter, how doors work,_ she added as she jotted a note down to run by the hardware store later.

* * *

It was a bright, clear day in scenic Beach City. In the area usually reserved for Beach-a-Palooza, people were setting up for a party.

Once word of the event had reach Mayor Dewey, the man had stopped by the car wash and given Greg permission to use the space, as well as ‘inviting the Universe family to make use of some municipal equipment.’ He’d then handed him a bag of ‘Vote for Dewey’ badges and glow sticks and said something about the youth vote.

Doug, Priyanka, Mary, Connie, Lapis, Buck, and Jenny were loading tables with drinks and snacks as well as arranging seats and umbrellas. Since Mayor Dewey had ordered ' _a dozen dozen donuts for the whole town_ ', they were soon joined by a chipper Sadie and apathetic Lars.

Meanwhile, Greg, Sour Cream, Peridot, and her constant shadow, Steven, were busy getting three separate sound systems wired into a whole: Sour Cream's newly purchased rig, the setup from Mr. Universe's show 'for the smaller venues,' and a collection of equipment the Mayor's people had unloaded which Buck referred to as the 'Dewey Decibel System.'

Mr. Universe promised the completed whole, "will blow your eyebrows off if it doesn't blow up first."

Peridot was quick to add that, "there will be absolutely no explosions or loss of brow-ridge follicles while I oversee this enterprise."

Jasper hauled heavy equipment into position but otherwise loitered along the periphery, eyeing the area for possible threats.

Around the time the beach was look suitably party-fied, the remaining residents of Beach City began to trickle in. 

Priyanka glanced at Jasper, her eyes narrowing. Lapis snuck a peek at Peridot and, without consciously meaning to, popped a donut hole in her mouth. Connie looked at Lapis, her hair frizzing out and swaying in the ocean breeze.

 _This should be quite the party,_ they all thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art for this chapter came from BurdenKing.
> 
> This week br42 has been busy organizing and tidying our omake content, which has grown fairly numerous over the months. To that end, he created a Master Omake List, which has been placed at the start of the Connie Swap Omake Collection and which can be viewed [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27069861). This list contains everything: within the Omake Collection, elsewhere in AO3, or outside of AO3 entirely. Should any of the information there be incorrect or incomplete, drop a comment or PM br42 in the Connie Swap Discord and he’ll correct the issue.
> 
> Additionally, br42 has been adding ‘Related Omake(s)’ information to select chapters throughout Connie Swap. That way readers, new and old, can more easily follow the bonus content as it relates to the main story. Once more, if any of these related omake sections are incorrect or incomplete, let br42 know.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Update on 9/17/17: Reader and all around cool person, CatOreo, did a redraw of the Destiny Partner's Handshake from this chapter. They did an outstanding job!  
> 
> 
> You can see more of their art on [their Tumblr page here](https://destoinic.tumblr.com/) including a redraw of the Connie Swap Title card.
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you have a Connie Swap story burning in your soul that you want to see in our official, curated Omake collection, drop us a comment either in the Omake fic or here in the main fic and we'll get in touch.
> 
> Connie Swap has an official Discord for the fans. [Come check it out.](https://discord.gg/RQMDdhr)
> 
> As usual, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and your asks at the [Connie Swap Tumblr](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/). Thanks for reading!


	3. Volatile Mixer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you finish reading this chapter, there is a related omake story you might want to check out:  
> [Beach City Limits Deleted Scenes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27385020) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) and [CoreyWW](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW) \- Two scenes were deleted from Episode 14, Chapter 3: Priyanka’s Pre-Confrontation Digression and a fuller version of what Lapis overheard from the Junk Food Jockeys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two new chapters in one day?! Yes, it turns out having a bunch of subplots that all converge on one big event, then trying to give each of those subplots the chance to play out and ricochet off one another, and THEN having a big finale is kinda lengthy. As such we’ve divided the chapter into two, but posted them both today because we’re generous souls like that.
> 
> Also note that the scenes in chapter 3 follow chronologically, but a few overlap with the preceding or proceeding scenes slightly, albeit from different POVs.

Greg stepped up on the modest stage, microphone in hand, and started to address the gathered townspeople. He paused, tapped the lifeless mic, then gave the crowd an amused what-can-you-do shrug.

Nanefua cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted, "Take it off!" to the general amusement of the partygoers. Kiki hid her face in her hands while Kofi hissed something to his mother that she cheerfully waved off.

There was a pop and flash of sparks from beneath the stage. The speakers hemming the retired musician in coughed with static. Peridot crawled out from under the platform and Steven helped her brush the soot off. Sour Cream, headphones over one ear, made adjustments from a sound mixer then gave Greg a thumbs up.

"Sibilance... Woo! Thanks guys! How about a round of applause for the sound team: Sour Cream, Peridot, and Shtu-ball!" said Greg, gesturing to the trio.

Sour Cream stood up and joined the other two. The crowd cheered. Sour Cream and Steven took a bow, then both reached up and pulled Peridot into one as well. Lapis and Jenny independently split the air whistling for their their respective pals.

Greg waited for the noise to ebb before saying, "This little get-together is just for the fun of it, so I'll keep this brief and leave the real speeches to the mayor." The crowd cheered, including Mayor Dewey, who was shaking hands with (and passing around buttons to) anyone who got close enough.

"When Steven, Mary, and I moved into town back in October, you all made us feel welcomed to this wonderful and weird little slice of Delmarva. I'd like you all to do the same for Doug Maheswaran, a fella who moved back to town recently," announced the rockstar. He pointed to where Mr. Maheswaran and Priyanka were standing, over by one of the punch bowls.

Doug recovered quickly from the sudden attention and waggled his drink cup at the crowd.

"If you haven't already, be sure to say hi to him and his lady friend, Doctor Priyanka Kurunthottical. Anyway, that's enough from me. Have fun everyone!" finished Greg to a scattering of cheers. He fitted the mic back on its stand and walked off the stage, sharing a friendly nod with the mayor as the latter, flanked on either side by his security detail, approached the platform.

Greg worked his way through the crowd as Mayor Dewey began his speech. He found his way to Mary, reaching around to rest his hand on her opposite hip and pull her in close to deliver a peck on the cheek.

"Not quite the same as when you were performing here, is it, Mr. Universe?" she asked playfully.

Greg gave an easy sigh. "Naw, but it's a good kind of different. Besides, this party isn't really about us."

Across the way, Greg could see Doug and Priyanka being greeted by Vidalia. Her boy, Onion, was peering up at them from behind his mother's legs.

"I just hope they have a good time," said Starshine, a little worry creeping into her voice.

Greg followed her gaze over, spying Connie standing a little outside the press of the crowd. The girl was looking uncertainly from her dad and Priyanka, and then over to Lapis. The sea breeze was doing something funny with her hair that made it look like the puffed up tail of an angry cat.

Greg sighed. "I'll take bluey if you'll take little miss sunshine."

"Deal," replied Mary, who gave Greg's hand an affectionate squeeze as she removed it from her hip. With a mimed kiss, she turned and waded out into the throng.

Greg loaded a couple of donuts onto a plate. _For Lapis,_ he thought.

He plucked a chocolate donut off the stack and took a bite. _Mostly for Lapis,_ he amended.

* * *

"-is in the Avengers off and on, but mainly Spider-Man stays in Empire City fighting bad guys like The Vulture, The Scorpion, or The Lizard," said Steven.

He and Peridot were standing a few paces away from the stage. After the mayor had finished his speech, Sour Cream had started DJing. Following the second time a breaker had been thrown, the pair had silently agreed to stay near the unstable conglomerate of sound systems.

The technician idly checked a holographic display as she asked, "Does the whole of Peter Parker's rogues gallery adhere to the naming convention of 'definite article-space-animal?'"

Steven shook his head as he sipped his punch. "No, there's The Green Goblin, Venom, Doctor Octopus-"

Peridot interjected, "Wait, this fictional setting not only contains cephalopods capable of completing a graduate-level curriculum, it includes ones that have subsequently turned to crime? The powers via radioactive arachnid strained my suspension of disbelief, but this is altogether too much."

Steven transferred his cup to his other hand and made a hurried search on his phone. He pulled up a picture of Otto Octavius complete with four metal tentacles poised as though to strike. 

Leaning over to see the tiny screen, the technician said, "Ah, I see. It's merely a nom de guerre for a human with limb enhancers. Clever. I rescind my previous objection."

Nodding at Peridot's body language more than her words, Steven swiped the phone and said, "Oh, here's Electro, who can make electricity in his body and then shoot it out to-"

* * *

_Oookay, Connie,_ she thought to herself as she went to the punch bowl. _Keep it together. You’re just at a party, everything's fine, nothing bad is gonna happen._

Connie shot a quick look to confirm that Steven and Peridot were still gabbing. She’d made sure to stake out a punch bowl with clear lines of sight. 

From there, her gaze wandered the crowd. Just about everyone in town seemed to have made it to Steven’s family’s party. It’d make things super messy if anything like New Year’s happened because someone could get hurt--

 _Don’t think about that, Connie,_ she thought, taking a sip of punch and completely failing to register the taste of it. _Nothing bad is gonna happen. Your best friend is making sure Peridot is long ago and in a galaxy far, far away from Lapis. Everything will be fine._

Connie felt a static shock as the hairs on the back of her neck began to stand up on their own.

_You know, so long as Lapis doesn’t blow up on her own. Or she and Jasper don’t get in a fight. Or Lapis doesn’t just decide to run away and not tell anyone. Or Steven avoids getting distracted for just a moment since that might be all it takes for Peridot and Lapis to fuse--_

“Connie?”

Connie snapped her head up and turned to see Sadie approaching. The blonde was smiling at her but her eyes looked… concerned.

“Oh!” Connie said, forcing a smile. “H-hey. Cool party, huh?”

“Yeaaah, sure ...” Sadie frowned. “Are you feeling okay, Connie?”

“Me?” Connie gave a nervous laugh as she poured more punch into her glass. “Of course. Why?”

“Well, you’re kinda overfilling your cup a little,” Sadie said, gesturing.

“Oh,” Connie said, setting the ladle back and then reaching for napkin. Her cheeks were red.

“You uh ...” Sadie rubbed her neck. “You wanna talk about anything or--”

“No no!” Connie shook her head. “I just- I’m kinda new to the whole party thing, is all.”

“Okay.” Sadie thought for a minute. “We’re not like ... near another shadow beast thing or anything like that, right?”

“Nope! Nothing like that,” Connie assured her hastily.

 _Nope, my emotional problems are all entirely on me this time,_ she thought. _But that does remind me I really should go check on that shadow thing soon …_

“Well ... okay,” Sadie said, reaching out. “Just, you know, if you need to talk or anything, I’ll be right--OW!” Sadie recoiled as soon as she touched Connie’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Sadie looked at her fingers.

“Nothing, just static.” She shook her fingers. “Really hurt though. I think humidity can make that worse or something, but I’m not really su--”

As she’d been doing every couple of seconds, Connie shot a quick glance at Steven and saw that he’d transferred his cup to his left hand. _The signal!_

“Wow, hey, fascinating, I just remembered, I gotta go run over here now! Later Sadie!”

Connie grabbed a second cup of punch and walked away, grimacing. She lowered her eyes as she skirted the party, internally berating herself.

 _Just don’t think about it,_ Connie thought. _Don’t worry about anything or you’ll cast Thundershock on the whole party or something! Just relax, don’t think about your problems. Come on, it’s easy._

Then, with a twinge of bitterness, she added, _After all, it seems like Lapis is able to do that all the time._

She felt her clothes static cling to her skin.

Connie took a deep breath. Mercifully, the cling eased slightly.

_Right ... don’t think about things like that either …_

* * *

Connie was holding a pair of drinks and circling the partygoers in the general direction of the stage. She had a slight frown and a serious look on her face.

Doug was trying to catch up with his daughter, but had to make a detour to avoid Greg and Lapis, who were sharing a conversation and donuts. If he got too close, both would probably try and include him in their chat, albeit with very different motives for doing so.

Finally reaching his daughter, Doug smiled and said, "Hey, cute lass. Need a hand there?"

Connie looked up at him as though a little startled. A moment later her expression softened. "Oh, hey dad. No, I'm fine. It's uh, some party, right?" she said as she continued along her way.

“Yeah. Nice enough. Great snacks. A little crowded, though,” he said.

His daughter nodded and hunched her shoulders as though to shield herself from the crowd’s attention. “I’m not really much of a party person, really.”

Doug felt a surge of sympathy for his little girl. "Actually, I once knew a boy about your age who sometimes found parties a little intimidating. Did you know that?"

Connie slowed and treated Doug to a faint smile. "No. Was this anyone I've met?"

Doug gave an easy grin. "You could say that. Fighting monsters is one thing, but facing down a crowd is quite another. The trick is to realize that most people are just as awkward and frightened about sounding dumb as you are."

"I thought the whole, 'they're more scared of you than you are of them' thing only applied to wild animals," drawled Connie.

"Consider this the party animal corollary to that rule," said Doug. "Besides, I figured you might appreciate a little backup, what with Greg shining a spotlight on your family."

It wasn't until the conversational silence stretched into awkward territory that Doug realized his gaffe.

 _‘Your family’? Smooth, Maheswaran,_ he thought, mentally kicking himself.

Connie took a sip from one of her cups and looked like she was swallowing nails. "Thanks dad but, uh, I need to run," she muttered before picking up her pace once more.

Doug stopped and shook his head, watching Connie hurry in the direction of the stage, surrounded as she was by a thundercloud of dark hair.

"Not the best chat?" asked Mary.

Still watching his daughter's retreating form, Doug shook his head and said, "No it wasn't. For someone pushing forty I seem plenty limber when it comes to getting my foot into my mouth."

Mary gave a sympathetic chuckle. "Maybe a little girl talk can help. I'll see if I can draw her out some. I overheard a little of what you two were saying and don't worry; most parents are just as awkward and frightened about saying the wrong thing to their kid as you are."

Doug turned around and gave Mary a weak but appreciative smile. "That's good to hear. I guess one good thing about all this uneasiness is that Connie and Priyanka haven't started comparing notes yet. Then I'd _really_ be in trouble."

"When Priyanka joins our girl talk like I asked her to, I'll be sure to keep the knives from getting too sharp. Enjoy the party, Doug," said Mary as she walked past to follow after Connie.

Doug gave a breezy laugh and waved goodbye. _She's joking,_ he thought.

A chill shot down Doug's spine and his eyes went wide. _She_ is _joking... right?_

* * *

Priyanka hid behind a plate of vegetables while a stocky blonde woman with a knee brace and a woman with glasses and a large mop of orange hair talked about their children, who were apparently coworkers at the donut shop. A conveniently timed bite of sliced cucumber -- _Wow, this is really good cucumber! Did this come from someone's garden?_ \-- meant Priyanka's mouth was too full to join them in their exchange.

Still no sign of Doug or Connie. Shortly after Doug had left in search of his daughter, Mary Universe, the towering hostess, invited Priyanka to join her and Connie in some girl talk later. Priyanka was savvy enough to recognize the woman’s assistance. The doctor was also pragmatic enough to accept it.

Priyanka turned, the crowds happened to part, and there, looming from the edge of the party, was Jasper. The colossal busybody was as poker-faced as ever and pacing like a caged jungle cat.

Priyanka bit a baby carrot in half, -- _I'll have to ask Doug if there's a farmer's market in Beach City._ \-- set her plate aside, and marched on a collision course with the orange interloper.

“Hey,” Priyanka said, approaching Jasper.

Jasper barely glanced at her but gave an acknowledging nod. The cursory nature of the gesture served to anger Priyanka further.

“Just what the hell was with the other day?” Priyanka said in a hushed tone, glaring at Jasper.

Jasper finally deigned to give Priyanka the full of her attention.

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah, that! Where do you get off talking to another person like that, saying they’re ...” Priyanka made air-quotes. “‘Unworthy’ for someone?”

Jasper shrugged.

“Because it’s probably true,” Jasper said casually.

Even factoring in the shrill protests from her sense of self-preservation, it was hard for Priyanka not knock some of the rude off Jasper's face.

“Fortunately you aren't the arbiter of what Doug thinks or who he cares about. I'm not here for your blessing to date Doug. What I'm here for is to understand why you got involved at all," said the doctor with as much composure as she could muster.

“No, you’re right. Doug has every right to think you’re worthy." Jasper paused. "Even if he’s wrong.”

“What the--” Priyanka stammered in anger. “What is your problem?!"

Jasper squinted at Priyanka like a med student unsure how to deal with a bellicose patient.

"My problem," the towering figure said slowly, calmly, "is that you're a human. You can't possibly be worthy of Doug if Doug was worthy of a gem like Citrine."

Priyanka felt her face get red. Jasper was as infuriating as the former dean of medicine had been, and Priyanka had more than once come within a hair’s breadth of throttling the man. In fact, his penchant for spray tans gave him and Jasper similar skin tones as well.

Then a thought shot through Priyanka's brain, causing her stagger a little at the implications. 

_I mean, it made as much sense as anything did in this bizarre branch of Doug and Connie's family._

"Are you-" stammered Priyanka, "Do you have a _crush_ on Doug? Is that what all of this is about?"

Jasper stared at Priyanka for a long moment. She squinted like there was fine print written on Priyanka's face that she was trying to read.

Then her yellow eyes went wide and her face showed the first strong emotion Priyanka had ever seen on it.

Jasper laughed. Loudly. Right in Priyanka's face.

The force and volume of it drove Priyanka back a step. In the corner of her vision she could see partygoers stop and turn their way.

Jasper lowered her massive head, hands resting on her knees, and gave a barking, deep guffaw that must have carried the length and breadth of the beach.

“I ... you think I ... pfft ...” said Jasper, gasping and trying to pull herself upright.

“What is so funny?!” Priyanka hissed, feeling suddenly conspicuous.

“I’m sorry that’s just ... snk ...” Jasper hid her face, but Priyanka could still hear her snickering. “Yeah, no. Sorry. No. No thank you.”

Priyanka clenched her fists and forced herself to take another breath. Deep inhale, deep exhale. That’s what her therapist had taught her during the divorce. The part of Priyanka that had faced a cantaloupe-colored dean of medicine condescendingly explaining her own specialty to her took the reigns and propelled her away from the chuckling goliath.

The memory of staring down the man while speaking at his corruption hearing did help. Her therapist hadn't mentioned that one but she'd found it at least as effective as the breathing.

* * *

"Bye mom! Bye Connie! Thanks again for the drink!" called Steven.

Lapis, leaning lazily alongside some speakers, gave a little wave to the departing pair.

Turning back to Peridot, Steven said, "That's because there's, like, five different continuities, and spin-offs, and one-offs, and... and..." before trailing off, his mouth quirking into a small frown.

Save for a gull taking off with an electrical component, the sound system had been behaving just fine. Other than Peridot flying after and catching said seagull in her tractor beam, Steven had never left the gem's side. That part of the plan was working.

The problem wasn't running out of things to say, either. Last night Steven had stayed up with Jeff and Peedee, the pair drilling Steven across several nerdy subjects.

There had been flash cards.

And even though Ms. Peridot sometimes seemed a little bored, she always perked back up.

No, the problem was that Ms. Lapis had been hovering, sometimes literally, along the edge of their discussion. Hovering and staring at them when Ms. Peridot wasn't watching.

Lapis approached the pair and said, "Great story, Stevieverse. So, Peri, I was-"

"Actually," interrupted Peridot, "I'm finding this discourse most captivating, Lapis."

Lapis blinked. "Really? Because I know what a bored Dot looks like and-"

"No, you're quite mistaken," corrected Peridot. "Now, Steven, please, you were telling me about this 'Hulk' I believe. A being defined by their boundless rage and poor, often violent coping mechanisms, correct?"

Steven nodded. "Y-yeah. And, uh..."

A blur of motion in his peripheral vision caused Steven to trail off and look around. Strangely, Ms. Lapis was nowhere to be seen.

Steven sipped his drink and found his voice once more. "And the angrier he gets the more dangerous he becomes-"

* * *

Lapis was working her way down a snack table. Donuts and assorted finger food tasted a fair sight better than her usual dish of steamed anger with a side of hurt feelings and garnished with regret.

The sea was a little choppier than it otherwise should have been, and, okay, maybe some of the bottles of soda had become dangerous to open too quickly, but Lapis wasn’t rearranging land masses so everyone else could just cope.

Lapis ate a handful of mixed nuts to see if they could help quell the storm raging inside her. _Hmm, results are inconclusive. More testing needed,_ she thought as she stuffed a second helping in her mouth.

There was a guffaw with all the grace of an avalanche that rang out across the party. Lapis rolled her eyes, gobbled down a gingersnap, then chased it with a swig of punch. _Oh great. Someone’s playing ‘got your nose’ with Jasper and we all get to hear about it._

Turning, Lapis saw the doctor chick Doug was shtupping walking away with all haste from Jasper, with Doug on an intercept course to his new squeeze. 

_She’s only guilty of terrible taste, same as those lackluster cookies, but I won’t lose any sleep if she, Dougie, and Jassafras annoy each other to pieces._

Not that this had been a particularly good year for the state of Lapis’ sleeping.

The Blue gem turned back and started demolishing a pile of asian-style dumplings. A cloud halfway to the horizon began dumping its contents into the ocean.

 _Heh, wonton destruction,_ she quipped inwardly.

Nearby, Donut Girl, Snarky Pizza, and Weirdo McFryboy were gabbing. Something about scary movies and get-togethers. Lapis amused herself pretending Pretty Fry For A White Guy and Pepperoni With Cheek were interrogating Ms. Karate-Chop Action on her company’s atrocious taste in uniforms.

Not that Lapis was bitter about having to wear one back in November.

The gem was pulled from her game of mental re-dubbing when a loud, “WHAT?!” caused the foodies to fall silent, turn, and gawk. Lapis peered around to see what all the hubbub was about.

Doug was standing just a little ways off looking, well, kinda like how he got when Lapis was particularly on her game. Miss I Make House Calls nodded and then turned to join Mommaverse, who was leading her over toward Con-con. Connie didn’t seem particularly happy about her upcoming doctor’s visit. She also looked like she’d used a tesla coil for a curling iron. 

Lapis considered literally swooping to the girl’s rescue but… she’d been getting a lot of Connsternation lately. Little things, mostly, but girlie wouldn’t stop asking tricky questions. With the Brain ditching her for Pinkie and Jasper’s unwelcomed advice, Lapis was having a harder than usual time remembering why tsunamis weren’t the solution to all life’s problems.

So Lapis decided the maple bar she’d eaten earlier was probably lonely and needed a friend. The Beach City water tower wobbled slightly in a way that had nothing to do with the wind.

A minute or two later and the movie trio had wandered off. Lapis was starting to wonder if she should go check on Peridot again --Miniverse had to go to the bathroom _eventually_ \-- when she was addressed by a familiar voice. 

“Jasper really needs a good ass-kicking. That that’s pretty much impossible doesn’t make it any less true.”

Lapis turned around to find Dougie slowly strangling a plastic cup of punch while staring daggers at OJ. “I hear ya. But I once saw a Nephrite ram her with a dropship. Dented the ship all to hell but the Perfect Idiot just punched her way out of the rubble and kept fighting. Why, what’d she do to you?”

Doug, ticked with Jasper? Holding a drink that was slowly leaking red on his pants? Maybe this day wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“She thinks Priyanka shouldn’t be dating me. Thinks it tarnishes Citrine’s memory,” he growled, the flow of drips increasing marginally.

“Like she has any business judging anyone on romantic matters,” drawled Lapis.

“Exactly. And she thinks she’s the only one who knew anything about Citrine! Oh, the things I could tell her…” he trailed off, shaking his head.

“Save your breath. I’ve been telling her off for longer than recorded history, for all the good it’s done.”

“Yeah, well, it’d make me feel better, at least,” he said, blowing out a breath and running his free hand through his hair.

“She is quite the capable punching bag, I’ll give her that.”

When there was no response, Lapis blinked and looked over. Doug was staring at her as though he’d just realized who he was speaking with.

 _Yeah, we haven’t bitched about Jasper together in, like, fifteen years,_ remembered Lapis.

Out loud, though, she said, “Oh, right. What I mean to say is, go kiss a sea urchin.”

Doug chuckled. “It was nice talking with you too, Lapis.”

“I hate yooou~ Buh-bye now.”

Doug shook his head, his slight smile still visible, and started walking in Doctor Feel Good’s direction.

Lapis cupped her hands to her mouth and said, “Your pants were ugly even before they got red stains all over them!”

“Wait, what?!”

_Ahh, that’s better._

A quick survey of the crowd showed Connie stalking over towards a snack table and Stevedore on course to chat with his gal pal.

 _While the sprat’s away, the Lapis will get her say,_ she thought as she summoned her wings and launched off.

* * *

Connie had managed to extricate herself from everyone else and resume her vigil at the punch bowl. Not that the conversation had been all bad...

 _It'd be so much simpler if Priyanka were outright wicked,_ Connie thought.

 _Of course, wishing your potential step-mother is actually evil doesn’t make much sense either,_ she added inwardly.

Regardless of how sensible and nice Mrs. Universe and Dr. Kurunthottical could be, the figurative and literal storm raging in Connie wasn't conducive to emotionally complicated conversations.

Connie idly poured herself a glass of punch and watched as a tiny arc of electricity crackled across the fluid.

 _Does that make this an energy drink?_ that irrepressible corner of her mentally quipped. _Putting the 'shock' in Sugar Shock Shut Down._

A little way into her beverage, Connie heard fast approaching footsteps. Turning, she saw Steven jogging her way.

"Oh no! Did I miss your signal?! Here! Drink this, it's only a little electrified!" Connie all but shouted as she thrust the drink in her friend's direction.

Steven slowed to a stop, eyeing the drink uncertainly before fiddling with his hearing aids. "I don't think I heard you right there at the end. Anyway, I was running out of more than just fluids,” he said as he poured himself a (hopefully) less exciting drink.

“It’s going okay-ish. Also, I haven’t seen Lapis in a while so it might be double okay," he added, clearly trying to put a positive spin on things.

Connie nodded, willing herself to be comforted. Her clothing crackled with intense static giving the lie to her effort.

“Connie, are you holding up okay?” Steven asked, eyeing her with concern.

“Yes, I’m ...” Connie felt static sizzle along her fingertips. She clenched her fist for a moment till the feeling went away. “I’m fine.”

“O-Okay,” he said slowly before taking a deep drink. Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he said, “I gotta admit ... I may have overestimated my ability to talk for so long. I’ve already told her everything I know about superheroes, Star Wars, young adult novels, and indie video games.”

“But it’s working, isn’t it?” Connie asked. “She’s still interested, right?”

“Well ... yeaaah, about that...” Steven looked over his shoulder before leaning close to Connie. “I kiiinda think Peridot is only listening because she has a plan that just happens to go along with our plan.”

“What?!”

“Yeah like ...” Steven shrugged. “I dunno, Lapis tried to talk to Peridot and Peridot blew her off to talk to me. I’m pretty sure she’s only listening to me to avoid Lapis too.”

Connie set her glass down rubbed her temples, causing an interesting light show for Steven.

“Wow. Okay. I didn’t expect that,” Connie said. “Are you sure?”

“Either that or Peridot thinks I’m the most interesting person in the world for some reason. Because I’m REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel with topics now: I’ve explained the Clone Saga twice and trust me, _it’s not that interesting to hear about._ ”

A flash of blue in Connie's peripheral vision caused the girl to whip around. The cup dropped from her hand and she started running in the direction of the stage.

Somewhere behind her she heard Steven mutter, "Ya know, these sitcom plots hardly ever work out either. Why do I always forget that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a Connie Swap story burning in your soul that you want to see in our official, curated Omake collection, drop us a comment either in the Omake fic or here in the main fic and we'll get in touch.
> 
> Connie Swap has an official Discord for the fans. [Come check it out.](https://discord.gg/RQMDdhr)
> 
> As usual, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and your asks at the [Connie Swap Tumblr](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/). Thanks for reading!


	4. Clearing The Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After you finish reading this chapter, there is a related omake story you might want to check out:  
> [The Lost Episode - BR42 Edition](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/28268220) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) \- After the disastrous New Year's party at the Universe's house, Lapis was gone for more than three months. This is a story of what she was doing for those 99 days.

"-bout we give this another shot." Lapis extended her arm to Peridot and said in a chipper tone, "Hi, I'm Lapis. I like long flights along the beach, cheesy movies, cheesy mangas, and most anything with cheese on it."

Peridot slowly extended her own hand-equivalent, though she looked conflicted. "Laz, we made one another's acquaintance in excess of five hundred solar rotations-"

A force field sprung up between the pair, causing Peridot's floating fingers to bump against the yellow barrier.

"STOP!" cried Connie, running over, her hair defying gravity the same as her field.

"Connie! Whatever is the matter?" asked the Green gem while Lapis crossed her arms and shot the girl a miffed look.

"I just- Please, don't fuse again. I'm literally not sure if I could take it," said the girl a little breathlessly.

"Fuse? Dear, there's no-" but Peridot was cut off by Lapis hovering around the side of the force field and standing between the pair.

"Connie, sweetie, Lapis and Peridot are just having a little conversation. Why don't you and Pinkie go play somewhere while the adults talk," said the Blue gem while crouching down and smiling like a Kindergarten teacher reassuring an upset five-year-old.

One of Connie's eyebrows twitched as a little arc of electricity jumped from one brow to the other. "Really?" she said in an icy voice, "Because I don't see an adult present for Peridot _to_ talk with."

Peridot's eyes bulged slightly behind her glasses. Distantly, Jasper had begun jogging over, the crowd parting quickly to give the warrior room.

Lapis scowled and placed her hands on her hips. "What's that supposed to mean... girlie?" she said, drawing out the last word like an epithet.

Connie's fists were balled, sparks crackling across her knuckles. "I'm saying that of all the adults I've encountered this year, none of them behave like you do. I've spent the last three months thinking of excuses for you and you've spent every day since you _deigned_ to come back invalidating all of them!"

Drinks shimmied in their containers and the surf grew noticeably choppier. An unseen wind began to stir Lapis' hair as she spoke to Connie with a smile that was more bared teeth than grin. "You not getting me is on you. No one else was all bent out of shape about it."

"That's probably because they're afraid you're going to fly away and disappear for a decade,” replied Connie through gritted teeth.

The crowd had begun to turn their way, sensing the hostility. Jasper jogged to a stop near Peridot, the both sharing an uncertain look.

“You cry under a blanket, I take a breather in another timezone. To-may-to, to-mah-to,” said Lapis dismissively.

Connie growled in the back of her throat and her hair managed to somehow become even frizzier. “I don’t know how Mom even put up with you when you’re THIS TOXIC TO BE AROUND!” she said, shouting by the end.

Lapis took a step back, momentarily shocked by the forceful accusation. Then her eyes narrowed and the waters of the bay tossed like there was a storm. 

Peridot, visibly nervous, cleared her throat and stammered, “S-Social conventions dictate that all of this would be better said in pri-” but was silenced by wrathful looks from Connie and Lapis both.

Lapis turned back to Connie, cocked her head to the side, and placed a finger on her cheek in an exaggerated thinking pose. “Your mom? Hmm, lemme think? Oh! Maybe because she wasn’t a wuss who never missed an opportunity to hesitate and let other people down! Ever think about that?”

Connie shook with anger and every hair on her body was floating up like it was trying to flee her fury.

“I guess you’d know! You’re the expert on letting people down. Just ask Peridot and Jasper!”

At this point, the majority of the crowd had become aware of the altercation. Some looked embarrassed on the pair’s behalf, others seemed confused, and a few were enjoying the spectacle.

Lapis gave a massive eye roll. “Cause a thirteen-year-old _fully_ understands everything about the relationships I’ve had for centuries and millennia. You just knooow everything, don’t you?”

“I don’t need to know much to know you’re a coward!”

Lapis clenched her fist. All the ice in the punch bowls exploded in little pops.

_“Excuse me?!”_

“You wanna talk about hesitating? At least I don’t run away all the time! You know, I may have trouble dealing with my problems, but at least I _try_ to deal with them. And I’m only thirteen! You’re, like, thirteen thousand!”

“First off, thanks for making me feel old,” Lapis retorted. “And secondly, you don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re just a kid. What problems could _you_ possibly have?!”

Arcs of electricity skipped across the metal buttons and clasps on Connie’s overalls.

“OHHH! You didn’t seriously just say that?! I could go into all of them, but we’d be here all day, so why don’t we just start with the problems caused by _you!_ ”

“By me?!”

“Yeah! One! Being yelled at for the Lunar Sea Spire mission, then feeling abandoned because you left right after! Thanks very much for that. Two! Wrecking my best friend’s backyard on New Years, leaving for ninety nine days exactly, and then acting like nothing was wrong when you finally come back. And then there’s that prize at the bottom of the box with, you know, how me being born ruined yours and everyone else’s life!”

“I never said that!”

“Well, if you don’t think that, then why did you abandon me, like, three times?!”

“I left because if I don’t, I turn Beach City into a pool!”

Connie thrust her arms overhead in frustration. Lightning skipped back and forth between them, causing collective noises of surprise from the many onlookers.

“Then- Then _go to counseling_ or something! No, you fly off because you don’t want to face the consequences. Sometimes I just wish I could smack you out of the sky and make you deal with your own mess!"

She punctuated the declaration by pointing at Lapis and then jabbing her finger skyward. There was a concussive popping sound and a flash of light that left an arc-shaped afterimage burned into the crowd's retinas.

There was a heavy thump in the sand nearby followed by a weak buzzing sound.

A bee monster the size of a person was swaying drunkenly not four paces away from the blue- and brown-skinned belligerents. Curls of smoke were wafting up from its antennae. It pushed itself up using its drill-shaped forelimbs, shot a glance at Connie, then looked up at Jasper, seemingly for an explanation.

The massive Quartz looked down and gave an expansive shrug. She then brought down a heavy foot in a percussive stomp. There was a puff of yellow smoke and a yellow gemstone landed on the ground.

Connie was staring at her hand uncertainly, seemingly at a loss for where to point it. Lapis blinked in confusion, her gaze traveling back and forth between the former gem monster and Connie. 

Peridot's head shot up. "Gah! We have incoming corrupted Orthoclases! They've assumed an auger-limbed apidae fo-"

Lars pointed skyward and shouted, "Drill bees!"

"I just said that," grumbled Peridot as the crowds responded to the donut clerk’s cry of alarm.

* * *

There had been an argument near the stage, the drinks started going crazy, there was a flash of light, and then someone was shouting something about drills?

Priyanka looked up along with the rest of the crowd and saw a swarm of bees. She jumped back startled and only a second later did she realize that the insects weren't right overhead, they were far away... and quite big.

Her brain wasn't really sure how to process this, though for some reason it kept trying to remind her about something Doug had said about a roller coaster.

A noise at her shoulder caused her head to snap around. Doug had pulled out a yellow whistle and blown twice on it. It sounded like the toy train whistle Anjan had been overly fond of as a tot. This one had the letters letters 'G. E. M.' printed on the side. 

Doug pocketed the whistle and pulled Priyanka along behind him. An answering two-note call came from the stocky blonde with the knee brace. The mayor took the stage and gave another double-blow from the whistle he’d retrieved. He cupped his hands to his mouth, called out, “Like we’ve practiced. Remember, give ‘em room.” The man then proceeded to dive under the DJ’s sound table with practiced ease.

The crowd began to scatter in an oddly orderly fashion, kind of like a flash mob in reverse. It did nothing to dispel the lingering sense that at some point she had unknowingly stepped through the looking glass.

Some people ran in a zig-zagging pattern for the distant boardwalk. Others moved quickly but carefully to crouch under the tables, moving chairs into place to act as ad hoc barriers like kids building a fort. None of them did the sensible thing of screaming and trampling one another in their effort to get away.

"Peridot," barked Jasper, causing Priyanka to realize she'd been pulled towards the stage, "start shooting them out of the sky. Lapis." The Blue gem looked at the warrior, angry but listening. "Sweep and screen with your water but be careful of the humans underfoot. I'll go after the big ones. Connie.” The warrior wrenched a foot-long section of aluminum pipe off of one of the unused stage trusses and tossed the club to the girl. “Keep yourself and Lapis from getting swarmed and try to finish off any that are stunned... like this one," and she gestured to an orange bubble as though that made any sense whatsoever.

The bubble vanished with a tap a second later because _of course it did._

Doug cleared his throat. The large Quartz turned to face him and the two exchanged modest bows. The angry tirade about Jasper that he'd previously been grumbling was apparently set aside now that... bee monsters... were descending on them. Jasper rose and said, "Delay any that go after the humans. Peridot or I will back you up when you need it."

Doug nodded, his expression entirely serious. He looked to his daughter and gave a weak smile, his voice cracking a little as he said, "Be careful, Cute Lass." 

Connie and Priyanka looked at Doug, confusion on their faces. They then shared a look, saying with their eyes, 'This is weird for you too, right?' It was cut short when Doug turned and jogged in the direction of the largest table fort, Priyanka once more being dragged along.

* * *

Doug and Dr. Kurunthottical ran for the row of tables that had the largest cluster of townsfolk huddled underneath.

 _You could even say they made a_ beeline _for it,_ thought a corner of Connie even as the rest of her groaned at the terrible pun.

Greg, Mary, and Steven were visible beneath the stage, the trio lying on their bellies and looking cramped. However, Greg was holding an electrical cable he’d sawed in half somehow and peeled back the insulation. Steven looked to be organizing the stack of food and sodas he’d snagged, so that the family would be well-provisioned. Meanwhile, Mary was busy using electrical tape to fasten a serrated steak knife to the end of a microphone stand to make an improvised but wicked-looking spear.

Connie pitied the bee monster that tried to drive the Universe family from the stage.

Jasper jogged forward to the center of the rapidly emptying beach, like a tennis player readying to receive a serve. 

Peridot was already lining up her first shot as her floating fingers reconfigured into blaster mode.

Movement in her peripheral vision caused Connie to glance skyward: a bee the size of a labrador was diving towards Lapis. It was utterly unable to correct its course when a fifteen foot square of force appeared right between it and its target. The last thing to go through its mind was its abdomen. 

It poofed without leaving behind a gemstone.

“I would have had it,” grumbled Lapis before reluctantly adding, “but thanks.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t run away from it,” snapped Connie, electricity arcing between the club and the clasps on her overalls.

Lapis gritted her teeth.

“Well if that’s how you feel, maybe I shouldn’t have come back,” Lapis growled back.

“Yeah, maybe you--” a bee hovered over and jabbed at Connie with a stinger nearly six-inches long. Connie jumped aside. Just then a blob of water flew out of nowhere and enveloped the insect. The sphere went hurtling through the air so fast it whistled... before crashing into the sand hard enough it left an impact crater.

There was nothing left to attempt to climb out.

Connie had the curious experience of breathing a sigh of relief through gritted teeth. “What was I- Oh right. Maybe you _shouldn’t_ have come back. We were all getting over you being gone. Then you come home and everything is sad and weird again.”

“Oh, you think I make things weird and sad? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re all weird and sad, like, _all the time!_ Ever since--”

“What, ever since I was _born?!_ ”

Lapis clenched her fist.

“Stop twisting my words! Why are you such a-- duck.”

“Duck?”

“No, I mean, duck!”

Connie dropped to the sand as horizontal column of water slammed with the force of a speeding truck into another dog-sized bee. There was a crack like a home run hit, the beast careened toward the sea, lost cohesion, and poofed less than a second later.

“Thanks! And you’re wrong: the only thing I’m twisting is your arm! See the damage you leave behind for once!” she shouted as she simultaneously clubbed and tasered a bee that had gotten too close to Lapis. 

“You. Never. Learn!” she added, staring at the Blue gem as she beat the gem beast into submission.

One of the larger bees was zipping towards Connie, drill arms extended, when it smacked into a force field that hadn’t been there a moment prior. A colossal arm of water descended, crushing the disoriented attacker entirely and, from an outsider’s perspective, coming within mere feet of smashing Connie flat.

“I see the damage I’ve caused every time I close my eyes!” railed Lapis as she bubbled the drenched gemstone. “I see the damage I’ve caused every time I open them too: some of my screw-ups are literally visible from space!”

“How can you be so immature?!” shouted Connie as an arc of electricity shot just over Lapis’ shoulder and sent a bee toppling down. It crashed into an amp and poofed from the force of impact.

“Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?!” shouted Lapis as a full punch bowl soared like a cannonball straight at Connie’s head, striking a bee along the way.

Voices raised, tempers and powers flaring like wrathful forces of nature, Connie and Lapis continued to angrily defend one another from all comers.

* * *

Priyanka was under a table alongside a little blonde boy with an intense stare and a pair of teens wearing matching, purple uniforms. The sounds of combat and a distant but intense argument carried clearly across the ruined party.

“How can you be so immature?!” roared Connie, punctuated with a bolt of electricity.

“Man, this is awesome,” said the orange-haired teen with gages in his ears. He reached up and groped blindly along the top of the snack table until he retrieved a box of popcorn. He stuffed a handful in his mouth, then offered it to the stocky blonde girl crouched beside him.

The teen looked like she was about to, quite sensibly, disagree...

“Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?!” cried the blue one -- _Lapis?_ \-- as a punch bowl and bee monster both shattered with the force of their impact.

…but she shrugged, grabbed a bite, and said around a mouthful of popcorn, “Yeah, it really is.”

There was a heavy thud on the table overhead and Priyanka yelled, startled. 

A beat later and a whirring sound preceded a drill boring through the top of the table mere inches away. Priyanka screamed once more and flattened herself on the ground.

The little boy beside her rolled his eyes and shook his head.

The drill withdrew and a pink eye glared angrily down at Priyanka’s upturned face. Then a rock smacked into the side of the bee’s head, prompting it to whip back and forth in search of the offending source.

“Hey!” shouted Doug, standing about five feet from Priyanka’s prone form, the boardwalk and the arcade visible a ways behind him. “I’ve faced down cosplayers that were scarier than you. Bring it, bee-boy!” he challenged.

With a powerful downdraft, the bee monster hovered over towards Doug, who grabbed a nearby chair by its back and lifted it up in front of him like a two-handed club.

_What is that foolish man doing?! Does he really think a lion tamer routine is going to-_

Doug parried a drill jab, sidestepped a stinger thrust, then he brought the chair into a high, overhead swing that crashed into the bee’s head, staggering it.

Priyanka flinched in sympathetic pain. A muffled exclamation of excitement on her right sent a spray of popcorn across the sand.

“Here!” barked Doug. “Have. A. SEAT!” A second downward blow caused the chair to shatter and sent the monster crashing into the sand.

The bee’s wings beat furiously, making sand spray out in all directions, and forcing Priyanka to cover her eyes. When the pelting ending, Priyanka looked up to see Doug holding two of the broken chair legs like… well, like the tonfas he had hanging up on his wall.

The bee jabbed at him, but he turned the blow aside with one chair leg while spinning around and clubbing the foe across the head with the other. He then delivered a heavy kick like a police officer kicking in a door. The insect was sent flying back into the table, the staccato rap of its wings against the tabletop sounding like an intense hail storm.

Priyanka managed to stifle her scream this time.

There was a distant orange comet that was growing larger at fantastic speeds. It unfolded into the towering form Jasper, sand spraying out once more as the warrior ground to a halt. There was a hammer blow that Priyanka felt rather than saw and then the hail storm was abruptly silenced.

Priyanka was able to look up in time to see Jasper making another bubble disappear. Doug and the towering warrior exchanged brief bows before the latter leapt skyward and vanished from Priyanka’s sight.

Doug wiped his brow, readied his grip on his improvised tonfas, and resumed patrolling the table, keeping an eye out for further trouble.

“Whoa. That Doug guy needs to join the underground wrestling scene, like, yesterday,” came the nasal voice of the teen boy nearby.

“Yeah,” said the blonde girl. “Who knew Connie’s dad was so hardcore?”

Priyanka could only stare at the man in question and wonder the same.

* * *

The last bee was brought down by a precise bolt of plasma. It had been attempting to flee.

Doug made a five point scan of the area, withdrew his G. E. M. whistle, and blew three short notes followed by one long one.

Connie didn’t see who blew the second or final call that all was clear. That was partly because she was too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to look around. The other reason was that her crazy hair had finally stopped defying gravity and started falling in her face instead.

At some point there had been a hair tie in place but she could only assume it’d been fired like a slug from a railgun back when her hairdo was going full thundercloud.

The Universes had emerged from beneath the stage, having driven off four of five winged interlopers during the brawl, and, thanks to Steven, stayed refreshed doing it. Several of the partygoers came round to thank them, sincerely, for an enjoyable party.

The mayor arrived shortly thereafter to organize a cleanup effort.

Peridot was first to return, giving Connie a deep, relieved hug as soon as her scan confirmed that her precious ward had suffered no significant injuries.

Steven piled on soon, which caused all the lingering force fields to blink out pretty much simultaneously.

Both, however, were muscled aside by Doug, who was then hugged fiercely by Connie. A minute or two later he stepped back and said how proud he was of her. Sparing a glance over Connie’s shoulder (where she knew Lapis was loitering), he asked if she needed his help with anything.

Connie blew out an exhausted breath and said she’d be fine.

Priyanka seemed unsure how to act in the situation, but her relief at Connie being healthy was clear. She and Doug departed soon thereafter.

* * *

Doug and Priyanka walked toward the boardwalk, Doug taking shallow breaths and willing himself through a series of preoccupying mental exercises. Normally he reserved counting upward through the prime numbers for when he was undergoing dental work, but this situation called for it as well.

Once he assumed the stage was between him and Connie, he gingerly took Priyanka’s hand and said, “Dear? Are we still in sight of Connie or the others?”

Priyanka glanced back, shook her head no, and gave him a questioning look.

Doug fished out his keys and handed them to Priyanka before sitting down awkwardly on the boardwalk’s edge like C-3PO. “Good,” he managed to say through clenched teeth, “because my back is loudly informing me that I’m done walking and I don’t think I can veto it any longer.”

 _I’ll yell at Jasper another day. She towers over me enough even when I_ can _stand up straight._

Priyanka gave him a sympathetic smile while shaking her head. “You are foolish man. A brave, big-hearted, foolish man who is going to receive all the backrubs in the world... right after I schedule you an appointment with a rheumatologist.”

She crouched down and kissed him deeply on the lips.

“It almost makes up for all the things I heard talking with Connie and Mary,” she said as she turned and walked off toward the car.

Doug gave a wheezing laugh and waved goodbye. _She's joking,_ he thought.

A chill shot down Doug's aching spine and his eyes went wide. _She_ is _joking... right?_

* * *

Everyone was busy, or at least content to leave Connie to herself. She’d wandered away from the noise and activity, then found herself a ways down the beach near the water’s edge.

She sat there, eyes fixed on nothing in particular. She didn’t think. She didn’t even worry. She was simply sitting and _feeling_ the bone-deep weariness of her mind and body.

“Um ... hey,” Lapis said as she approached.

Connie only glanced at her, saw the uncharacteristically sheepish look on Lapis’ face, then returned to staring into the middle distance.

“Hey,” Connie said.

They said nothing. Lapis cleared her throat and rubbed her own shoulder.

“So um ... things got a little heated back there,” Lapis said quietly.

“Lightning tends to be hot,” Connie said in a flat voice.

“Heh, that’s a good one.” Lapis’s uneasy smile faded as quickly as it appeared. “It’s um ... not that funny, I guess ...”

Connie felt a tightness in her throat. She knew she’d never feel comfortable asking, so she may as well do it now while she was too worn out to care.

“Did I ...” Connie couldn’t even look straight at Lapis. She tried to ignore the stinging at the corner of her eyes. “Did me being born really ruin everyone’s lives? Is ... is that why you left?”

Lapis eyes went wide.

“What? _No!_ I--” Lapis closed her eyes tightly and hit herself lightly on the forehead a few times as though trying to dislodge the correct response. “No, Connie, jeez, don’t ... just don’t put too much stock in what I say when I’m being an idiot. Which is often. I don’t really mean that and the stuff I think doesn’t really matter anyway, so--”

“ _But it does!_ ” Connie blurted out, turning to Lapis. She could feel tears start to trickle and she couldn’t stop. “Do you think I would have had so many pent up feelings that I’d turn into a _lightning rod_ if I didn’t care what you thought?! And I just ... the idea that I ruined your life just by being here ...” Connie’s voice cracked. “When I just want you all to be proud of me ...”

“I just-- it shouldn’t matter what I think! You know you’re awesome!”

“Do I?!

“ _You should!_ I mean ... _I’m_ clearly not the role model here!”

Connie stood up, thrusting her arms overhead. Fortunately, this time there was no arc of electricity to accompany the action.

“What are you even _talking about?!_ ” Connie said through gasped breaths. “You’re like the coolest and strongest gem in the whole world and you always know the funniest things to say and you’re just fun all the time. Of course you’re a role model!”

Lapis' eyes were wide once more.

“I should NEVER be anyone’s role model, Connie, okay?” Lapis said. “ _Peridot_ is a role model. _Jasper_ is a role model. Your dad is--” Lapis paused. “Well, he has his moments, I guess, but Peridot and Jasper are worth looking up to. Way more than I am! If you knew half the stuff I’ve done, you’d ...” 

Lapis stopped. She sighed and lowered her voice. “You’d know I was all those things you said when you were mad. A coward who doesn’t care about anyone and hurts people. Just ...” One hand drifted towards her shoulder. Her eyes seemed to gloss over like mirrors for an instant. “Just a monster that can still pass for normal ...”

Connie frowned. She reached out and touched Lapis’ hand.

“I ... I don’t think you’re a monster,” Connie said gently.

Lapis gave a bitter laugh.

“Wasn’t what you were saying a little while ago ...” she replied.

“I know, I’m sorry!” Connie ran a hand through her hair. “I was just so mad, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs so I just ... did! And then Sith Lightning stuff happened and I could tell I was going way too far, but I just couldn’t stop and--” Connie exhaled. “I got carried away.”

Lapis could only stare, though her expression spoke volumes.

“Oh wow,” Lapis breathed, her voice scarcely above a whisper. Connie could see the hint of a tear in one eye as the gem gave a smirk. “You ... you really _do_ sound like you’ve been using me as a role model. I’m so sorry.”

Connie, as emotionally drained as she felt, actually managed a chuckle back.

Lapis sat down on the sand, the gem staring out at the ocean. A breeze blew her bangs into her face but she did nothing to move them. Gingerly, Connie sat down nearby.

“Okay ...” Lapis said, rubbing her neck. “I was on an island. Mostly.”

“Huh?”

“You asked me the other day where I went when I left here. I mean, I did a lot of things at first: hid out in an ocean trench, flew around the world a few times, sat on the Moon for a while, bought snacks with pirate gold. But then I went to an island. Not sure what island exactly, I just picked one at random ....” Lapis pulled her legs to her chest. “And then I just kinda ... laid around for most of the time I was gone.”

“You laid around for months?”

“Preeetty much.” Lapis shook her head, still staring out at sea. “That’s kinda all I know how to do. I run away from my problems and I just putter around until I feel like I can _pretend_ I’m normal. Then I hope everyone forgot about what a piece of coprolite I am.” Lapis gave a small smile. “Think I’m cool now?”

Connie paused then said, “Yeah. I mean ... I can understand being so sad you just don’t wanna talk about things.” Connie mumbled under her breath. “I kinda felt like that after New Year’s too, to be honest.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Actually for a little bit I tried to ignore everything. I stayed over at Steven’s for most of a week, just doing whatever I felt like.” Connie paused. “Didn’t help I found out about dad’s girlfriend around the same time.

“Oh.” Lapis grimaced. “ _Ohhh_ ... that might have been ... rough.”

“Yeah ...”

Lapis pursed her lips together.

“I really did feel awful, you know,” Lapis said. “And I don’t want you to think I didn’t like ... know I made you feel bad. I did! That’s ...” She gave a nervous laugh. “That’s why it was so hard to come back. I didn’t know how to fix this. I still don’t! I don’t really ... fix things, you know? I just kinda hope they fix themselves while I’m gone.”

Connie hesitated. “Does that ever happen?”

“Sometimes. Once.” She blew out a breath. “No,” she said glumly and fell back in the sand, “and that’s why I’m such an idiot.”

Connie looked down at her.

“Is ... this helping? You know ... talking about it?” Connie asked.

Lapis glanced away for a minute.

“Kinda ...” Lapis rose back up. “Guess maybe I should have tried to do things like that before.” She shook her head. “I mean, if you think this was bad, back when your mom was around, I got in a particularly bad argument with Jasper and bailed for two years.”

“Jeez. What was the argument about?”

“ _A lot of things_ ...” sighed Lapis. She took a slow breath. “But that’s in the past. Maybe things would be a lot better if I tried to talk about stuff rather than just vamoose.”

Connie gulped.

“I hope so,” she said. “I mean ... I don’t want you to leave anymore. I miss you.” Connie met Lapis’ eyes. “Everyone did.”

Lapis said nothing, then suddenly she ruffled Connie’s hair.

“Look at Citrine Jr. over here, helping me make sense of the world,” Lapis chuckled. “Gosh, she’d be so proud of you.”

“You ... you really think so?”

Lapis beamed at her, a blue hand reaching up to cup her cheek a moment before leaning in. Like when Lapis had visited a crying Connie in Blanketville, the two touched foreheads and noses; a light, reassuring nuzzle they had shared across the years.

Connie took a deep breath and by the time she'd exhaled it, the weight of the day felt a little lighter.

Lapis broke the contact first, eyes twinkling at the girl.

“Yeah …” she said. “Yeah, I really do. And I’m just as proud.”

Connie smiled, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

After a long moment, Lapis finally said, “I’m sorry. For ... everything.”

“I know,” Connie said, leaning her head on Lapis’ shoulder.

They sat in silence for a time as the waves rolled gently in and out.

“You bought snacks with pirate gold? _Really?_ ” Connie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep.”

“Huh ...” Connie’s stomach rumbled. “... you still have some of that?”

“Nah, but we can still get some donuts. On me.”

“You mean on my dad?”

“Same diff.”

Lapis broke into a grin as Connie laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art for this chapter came from BurdenKing.
> 
> This episode isn’t over yet! There will be an epilogue going up next Wednesday to close the whole thing out.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The biggest news is that **Connie Swap is changing its update schedule**. We’re moving to one chapter  every other Wednesday instead of each Wednesday. This will not affect the art schedule (i.e. a promo picture per episode and one piece of in-chapter art every two weeks). In fact, the chapter schedule is now slowing down such that each chapter should have its own in-chapter art once more.
> 
> Back in late February, when the final chapter of Episode 2 was posted, the Team decided to try something ambitious: releasing a complete chapter each and every week with as much quality and multimedia content (art, songs, lyrics) as we could muster. And for 29 of the past 30 Wednesdays we’ve managed to deliver on that ambition (international travel marred our perfect record).
> 
> We’re extremely proud of the results and we feel like we’ve had to grow a lot in terms of our skills and internal processes to make it happen. We’ve even grown in terms of our Team (Hey CoreyWW!). 
> 
> Another goal for the ambitious schedule was to (hopefully) attract a little more attention to Connie Swap. And we are thrilled with the outpouring of excitement and support we’ve received from our wonderful readers! So much activity on AO3, so many incredible omakes, so much happening on Tumblr, and so much great conversations on Discord!
> 
> And now, a week shy of 7 months later, having accomplished those goals, we’re ready to slow things down so we can pace ourselves for the long haul. Connie Swap has covered a lot of ground and has a _whole_ lot more still to come.
> 
> However, you can anticipate an uptick in the amount of omakes and Tumblr activity as we channel some of our extra time into those pursuits. If nothing else, I’m not sure much of anything can stop br42 from writing.
> 
> So with that, tune in Wednesday the 27th for the start of **Episode 15: Bonnie Lockdrew and the Cries of Hallowed Halls**.
>
>>   
>   
>  After returning to the quarry to make sure all is quiet, Connie finally joins Sadie, Ronaldo, and the Cool Kids for a night of scary movie viewing.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Two omakes have been added to the collection:  
> *) [Ask a Question for Peridot’s What-If Machine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27310398) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) and [CoreyWW](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW) \- "Peridot unveils her latest and greatest invention. Responses are mixed." This is a prompt for miniature omakes that we're writing in response to the questions submitted. Feel free to offer a question for the What-If machine in Tumblr or with an AO3 comment.
> 
> *) [Beach City Limits Deleted Scenes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27385020) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) and [CoreyWW](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW) \- "Two scenes were deleted from Episode 14, Chapter 3: Priyanka’s Pre-Confrontation Digression and a fuller version of what Lapis overheard from the Junk Food Jockeys."
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you have a Connie Swap story burning in your soul that you want to see in our official, curated Omake collection, drop us a comment either in the Omake fic or here in the main fic and we'll get in touch.
> 
> Connie Swap has an official Discord for the fans. [Come check it out.](https://discord.gg/RQMDdhr)
> 
> As usual, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and your asks at the [Connie Swap Tumblr](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/). Thanks for reading!


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After you finish reading this chapter, there is a related omake story you might want to check out:  
> [Power Testing: Electricity and Energy Aura](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27875916) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) \- “Lapis, Jasper, Peridot, and Steven spend the day testing Connie's electricity power and aura of radiated gem energy. Connie learns more about both her powers and the unfortunate number of electricity puns out there.” **This fic is 100% canon.**
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you read this chapter before October 2nd, 2017 then you may notice it now reads a little differently during the group discussion about Connie's powers.
> 
> The changed section begins with  
>  _"The scan also saw that this power was emanating from a containment vessel comprised of, um, organic matter and thus was projecting an imminent and, erm, energetic containment breach._ "
> 
> and ends with  
>  _Unconsciously, her limb enhancers moved to cover her stomach._
> 
> There are more notes about the change in the post-chapter section.

The Big Donut box was empty save for crumbs. Connie and Lapis had lapsed into an exhausted but satisfied lethargy, both drained from the day. They were flopped unceremoniously on the couch together, dozing and waiting for the others to return.

Peridot came home after the post-bubbling sweep of the area and once she’d finished disassembling the kludged together sound system. Jasper stuck around after the sweep and waited until Peridot was ready, helping move some heavy equipment in the meantime.

Yawning and sitting up, Connie rubbed the sleep from her eyes and gave a sheepish wave to the others.

“Hello dear,” greeted Peridot, looking at Connie fondly but fiddling nervously with her floating fingers. “Are you and Lapis feeling… rested?”

Jasper took up her usual position leaning on the counter at the far side of the kitchen and watched the trio silently.

Connie nodded. Lapis gave an easy grin and said, “Don’t worry, P-pod. We had a good shout, a good scrap, a good snack, and a good nap. No more rain or lightning from us.”

Connie scratched her side and brushed some of the hair from her face. “About that, though. Electricity? That’s new. Well, newish. I realized after the fact that I've been struggling with static cling for a while."

“Citrine could make electricity,” said Jasper matter-of-factly, adding, “Especially with her sword.”

"Oh, hey, Con-con? Do the light thing," prompted a lazing Lapis.

"Right. Here, look at this,” and Connie reached over and took an incandescent bulb off the coffee table.

Right arm extended, she held the bulb upright, gripping the screw base with her thumb, forefinger, and index finger. The filament gave a dim glow and the periphery of Connie’s hair began to frizz out slightly.

Point made, Connie set the bulb back on the table by the empty box of donuts. It rocked side to side a little until settling in place. She looked from gem to gem, waiting for their response.

Peridot was rubbing her chin with a floating finger while skimming the reports she’d called up and projected onto her visor-cum-glasses. “Though Jasper’s statement is correct, this is different. To my knowledge, your mother was never capable of creating or projecting voltages the likes of which were on display earlier.” She narrowed her eyes at a graph drawn in yellow, then minimized the document and stared at Connie anew. “At least, not without using her weapon as both capacitor and conduit for the galvanic energy.”

That made Connie sit up straighter, her expression questioning. “You mean mom couldn’t taze stuff without her sword?”

“Nope,” said Lapis, popping the ‘p’ loudly. “She could do the Uncle Fester trick with the bulb like you, but she never went all dark and stormy knight on someone.” She then pulled Connie into a tight hug. “Congrats, Con-con. This is new!”

The hug deepened. So too did Connie’s expression of puzzlement.

Peridot paced the length of the Beach House, limb enhancers clasped behind her back. “I made a concerted effort in the late seventeenth and early eighteenth century to more fully study and quantify Lapis, Jasper, and Citrine’s powers.”

Connie struggled her way out of Lapis’ hold. “What about your powers, ma’am?”

The Green gem stumbled, then drew herself up quickly and said, “N-Naturally I have comprehensive knowledge of my own abilities and have rigorously tested their limits.” She pulled a face and added, “Quite rigorously,” before shaking her head. “The capacities of a perfectly formed Jasper or a Lapis Lazuli on a watery planet, however, were not otherwise known. And then there’s the unexplored depths of a bold prototype line like the Citrine Quartz!”

Lapis elbowed Connie gently in the side then jabbed her thumb at Peridot. “Ol’ Peri here is the only person I’ve met who’ll bring a set of diagnostic tools to a date.”

Peridot stopped in her tracks, eyes fixed firmly on the hardwood floor. Lapis had a look of dawning realization followed fast on the heels by a chagrined expression.

“Hey,” said the Blue gem with false levity as she rose to her feet, “I think I left the water running in my room. I’m just gonna go check on that,” and she turned in the direction of the temple door.

Peridot’s head shot up and she hastily said, “No! Erm, What I mean to say is, Lapis, that won’t be necessary. Besides,” and she fell into a more relaxed pose, “this is an exciting milestone for Connie. It is only suitable that we all be present to discuss the implications.”

Lapis glanced at Jasper and Connie in turn. The former gave an almost imperceptible nod while the latter took the Blue gem’s arm and gently pulled her back onto the couch. Lapis smoothed imperceptible wrinkles out of her sleeves and settled back into place, quirking up the corner of her mouth even as her eyes were apologetic.

Clearing her throat, Peridot continued her lecture. “During one such testing session, your mother confided in me that while she had always had her galvanic sword strike capacity, she had only discovered the ability to generate electrical current after witnessing a Ruby-Sapphire fusion accomplish a similar feat.”

Jasper nodded and cracked the knuckles on one hand, but made no move to interrupt further.

Turning back to Connie, Peridot said, “As you witnessed during your encounter with the umbralite in February, the Citrine gemstone is capable of absorbing and dissipating what your mother dubbed, ‘negative energy,’” and she made quotation marks in the air with two sets of floating fingers. “The appropriate nomenclature is elusive, I hasten to add. Regardless, electrical current is the result of an imbalance in charge, causing a movement of electrons in an attempt to reach a grounded state. I speculated that your mother’s gemstone was capable of artificially inducing such an imbalance, and hence, current.”

Connie’s brows furrowed as she thought this through. Eventually she looked at Peridot and said, “Okay. I can kinda buy that. I mean, powers are weird, right?” which received nods of agreement from all around the room. “But that still doesn’t explain why I was able to zap a bee monster out of the air earlier when mom never could. Or, for that matter, why I can’t do that again now.” 

She made a pointing gesture with her hand to illustrate what she meant. From her index finger came nothing more than a few errant sparks, which vanished before they reached the floor.

Peridot brought up a couple of holographic displays and then pointed a limb enhancer at the girl. "I have theories, but more data is needed to ascertain their validity. If you would, dear, please attempt to channel current through the tungsten filament once more while I conduct a scan," and the air itself seemed to glow faintly when Peridot’s limb enhancer activated. 

Connie grasped the bulb again and made it emit a dim light. Once more her hair started to frizz along the margins... which then danced in the air when Lapis blew lightly across it.

"Hey. Quit it, Lapis," grumbled Connie while she tried to focus on the bulb.

Lapis snickered and ran her hand just above the top of Connie's hair, watching as the black threads were pulled by a subtle static charge towards her blue palm.

The bulb began to shine brighter. Then one of the kitchen lights flickered. Jasper glanced upward for a moment before returning to the scene on the couch, her eyebrows rising slightly.

Lapis and Connie went wide-eyed, the gem withdrawing far enough to respect the girl's personal space. Connie hastily set the light bulb on the table, then nudged it to the side opposite her.

Peridot looked up from her readings and disabled the scan, grinning broadly in contrast with everyone else. "That was most, hehe, illuminating. It would appear that, like many powers, there is an emotional component to Connie's capacity for current creation. Annoyance, perhaps, or indignation caused a spike in the output. It also gave me corroborating evidence for one of my theories on Connie's ability to discharge hitherto unseen levels of energy sans intermediary."

"Ya kinda lost me on that last one, Dot," drawled Lapis.

“How I can zap big without a sword,” answered Connie dryly.

Peridot drew herself into a didactic pose. "Gem bodies are comprised of hard light, a substance which conducts electricity but does a poor job storing it. The Citrine sword is an exception precisely because it is designed to overcome this property. The human body, meanwhile, has a much greater capacitance than the gem body. Connie appears to have a greater capacity for galvanic storage than even a baseline human, possibly a result of the poorly understood interactions between her organic matter and her gemstone. The end result, however, is that she can gradually charge herself up to impressive effect.”

"So Con-con's a walking battery?" hazarded Lapis. "Huh. But how long did she juice up so she could pull off that light show on the beach?"

Connie, hair frizzed out and errant pops of static crackling across her clothes, deadpanned, "Three weeks."

Lapis blinked. "Really? But what's-"

"You came back," answered Jasper, bluntly.

Connie inhaled through her nose and blew out a long breath. She lost a little of her frizz.

Scooting around to face a crestfallen Lapis, she gave a small, reassuring smile and said, "Honestly, I'm relieved. I was so frustrated for so long, all of it building up and up and up for weeks on end; that’s why I was able to erupt like I did at the party. Like you said, though, we're past that now, which is why I'm only making sparks. That’s proof I got that out of my system.”

Lapis gave the girl an appreciative smile.

Connie’s smile widened before she paused and cocked her head to the side in thought. “I'm also glad I won't accidentally shoot lightning at Ronaldo for oversalting my fries or something small like that."

Peridot was looking distracted as she toggled between scanning modes. "An anomaly that I still can't account for is the surges in this dwelling’s wiring. Unless Connie is making direct contact with an electrical outlet, she shouldn't be able to affect the- OH MY STARS!"

Connie and Lapis jumped in their seats. Jasper rose to her feet, poised to act. A hologramatic display was showing a wire-frame Connie at the center of a bubble of yellow, warning icons flashing angrily.

Peridot muttered to herself, shaking her head as she glanced back and forth between the diagram and the girl.

Connie eyed herself with concern as though expecting to find an old-timey fuse embedded in her somewhere and growing shorter by the second. "Um, ma'am. The last time you shouted like that, a blaster nearly exploded and you wound up with a hole shot through your stomach. Do we need to run or something?"

The worry-infused sound of Connie's voice cut through Peridot's surprise. The technician minimized the display and tried to give Connie a reassuring smile. "Sorry for startling you, dear. No, I realize now that we're in no danger, immediate or otherwise. If we were, you would have exploded violently weeks ago."

Connie did not look particularly soothed. Lapis rolled her eyes at Peridot, then pulled Connie into a reassuring hug. "Hey, it's alright, girlie. The Peridoctor just has poor bedside manner sometimes. Now, Dot is going to tell us once more why everything is fine, but this time like you’re a person instead of a reactor wearing glasses."

Jasper resumed leaning on the counter, her face once more impassive.

Peridot shot Lapis a grateful look, her eyes apologetic, then expanded the wireframe display so Connie could better see it. A moment later and she disabled the red warning flashes too.

"This is a scan that is useful for discerning the output and stability of gemtech power generators. According to this, you are radiating energy well in excess of any of the generators we have in the temple aside from the crystal heart itself," explained Peridot, her floating fingers pointing out relevant icons though her eyes never left Connie's face.

"The scan also saw that this power was emanating from a containment vessel comprised of, um, organic matter and thus was projecting an imminent and, erm, _energetic_ containment breach. This is a flaw in the scan's assumptions, and not a reflection of reality," she added quickly while Lapis held Connie marginally tighter.

"What's it all mean, ma'am?" asked Connie, ensconced in a blue arms.

"The gemstone normally expends considerable energy projecting a hard light body. However, a gem can be embedded in a specially prepared vessel to harvest that energy to some other, useful end. Your chronicle of gem history, for example," and she gestured toward the bookshelves in Connie's loft.

Connie's expression became contemplative and her lips pursed. Peridot, ever the diligent instructor, took this as her cue to give her pupil a moment to mull something over.

Connie turned and looked up at her loft, addressing no one in particular. "Can these gems still think while they're, um, embedded?"

Peridot spoke immediately and with her usual pedagogical enthusiasm but that was quickly replaced with stammering uncertainty. "An embedded gem could not possibly be- hmm, but then how would- oh, and it'd need- I... hmm. The, uh, precise answer to your inquiry eludes me."

"It's cool, P. I can tag in for this one," said a mellow voice from behind Connie's head. "Sure, nothing is stopping you from poofing a normal 'walks and talks' gem and slapping 'em in a vessel. She’d even be able to see or hear what’s going on if the thing you stuck her in required that to work. But putting 'em in there would be kinda dumb."

Connie tried to swivel around in Lapis' arms to face the Blue gem but when she looked left, Lapis would shift right, and vice versa.

"Lapis!" huffed Connie, a grinning Lapis finally letting the girl clap eyes on her. "How do you know this?! I thought Peridot was the expert on gem stuff."

Lapis stuck out her tongue before saying, "Don't act so surprised, little missy. P-pot is a bright bulb, and a certified Kindergartner," she was quick to add when she noticed Peridot opening her mouth to speak, "but her expertise ends once the gems walk out of their holes. I know about it because you learn a thing or two over the millennia and I'm older than everyone here combined, with room to spare."

"Your birthday cake must be huge," quipped Connie.

"It'd take you all year to put on the candles," was Lapis' ready response. 

Pointing in the direction of Connie's pearl-embedded tome, Lapis said, "Anyway, a Pearl could tell you all about gem history and then, when you’re done, they could clean the place, make you a snack, and give you a foot rub," and she wiggled her toes for emphasis. "An embedded Pearl can only do the first. Like I said, that'd be dumb. Dumb, that is, unless the Pearl wasn’t working to begin with."

Connie looked about to say something when Jasper cut in. "All the embedded gems on Earth are corrupted. Pull one out and it reforms into something you have to bubble anyway."

Peridot and Lapis nodded in response.

Connie chewed her lower lip, still thinking. "Is there a way to fix a cracked gem?" she asked finally.

The other three all shared a look. Peridot cleared her throat and said in a carefully neutral voice, "The means exist but after certain... _events_ during the Rebellion," and Connie noticed that Lapis' hold around her had gotten uncomfortably tight while Jasper's hands had formed into fists, "those means are not at our disposal."

Sensing the shift in mood, Connie returned to an earlier subject. "Why is my gemstone behaving like it's embedded?"

Peridot smiled, her eyes sparkling with didactic glee. "Unlike the rest of us, your gemstone doesn't need to maintain a hard light form. It would appear that it is, through yet unknown means, radiating this excess energy wirelessly outward, which is acting as a medium through which your electrical influence can propagate. In a way, it’s quite similar to the power station employed during... the-" Peridot's eyes widened and she trailed off, her gaze staring at nothing as realizing blossomed.

Unconsciously, her limb enhancers moved to cover her stomach.

Lapis was looking perplexed at Peridot when Connie whimpered and pulled herself in tight against the svelte gem. On instinct she reached up and soothed the girl, blue fingers running through black hair.

"Uh, hey, OJ?" she said softly. "I don't know what's happening but I think it broke Connie and Peridot. Got any ideas?"

Jasper thought for a second, nodded, and stood up, the countertop protesting briefly. She turned and strode purposefully into the temple.

"Right..." muttered Lapis, her hydrokinetic powers informing her unnecessarily of the droplets of salt water that were falling on her lap. "I guess I'll just-"

The temple door opened and Jasper walked swiftly out. Carefully, almost reverently, she carried something small and metallic in her massive hands.

"Hey squirt," called the gruff Quartz.

Sniffing, Connie lifted her head and looked in Jasper’s direction.

Jasper fiddled a toggle, then turned the hubcap-sized disc to face Connie. "Put a force field on it."

Connie looked up at Lapis confused. Lapis, meanwhile, gave a low whistle, then nodded in Jasper's direction. "Go ahead, girlie. I think I know where OJ is going with this."

The girl focused for a moment. Instead of a midsized field appearing in the air near the Quartz, a circular ring of yellow force extended out from the buckler.

Connie's brows shot straight up, her previous sadness forgotten. "Whoa! How is that- But... I can sense the field but I don't have to concentrate on sustaining it. What is that thing?"

Peridot broke her stunned silence. "The Citrine Aegis," she said, her expression wistful. "It was your mother's shield, a relic forged using Era-1 metallurgical practices I have yet to fully reverse engineer." Turning to face Jasper directly she asked, "How did you know it was equipped to receive wireless field emanations?"

Jasper shrugged. "It was her shield. It's her energy. Makes sense." 

Disabling the field, Jasper walked over to Connie. The large warrior knelt in front of the girl and slowly lowered the shield into her hands.

Holding the relic carefully, Connie scooched over on the couch to get more room. She then ran a hand over the stylized bas-relief lotus set in its surface, noting that it was scraped and chipped in places but still proud.

Jasper rose and retreated a step, her eyes looking almost sad as she stared at the reflection of Connie’s gemstone on the shield’s surface.

"There is a contact plate on the grip that was damaged, rendering the shield unable to draw the energy necessary to sustain a hard light barrier," explained Peridot. "It takes a considerable amount of preparation for me to create the alloys to repair one of these Rebellion-era armaments. The last of my current stock was expended shortly before your thirteenth emergence celebration when I completed repairs on Lapis’ retractable hydro-hammer."

Lapis leaned over and gave Peridot a high five, the technician raising a limb enhancer up to receive it without her eyes ever leaving the girl.

After a time Connie looked up, gaze sweeping across the trio. “This was really hers?” she asked in a quiet voice.

All three of her colorful guardians nodded.

Lapis gave the girl’s shoulder a squeeze. “And it’s working again because of your cool powers.”

Peridot smiled at the girl and said, “I’ll fabricate a new set of appropriately-sized straps while you sleep tonight.”

Jasper blinked away a tear. “I’ll train you to use it.”

* * *

Peridot was busy in the kitchen and busy in her mind. Outwardly, she was cleaning up the dishes from dinner and performing maintenance around the food preparation area. Inwardly, she was contemplating new tests to gauge Connie’s new pair of powers, building a mental to-do list of tweaks to make around the Beach House to help harden it against electrical disruptions, and she hadn’t begun to really think through the possibilities of having a potent wireless power source… albeit one with needs and agency.

Connie had left to discuss these new developments with the Steven.

Jasper had departed via warp pad. The Quartz hadn’t claimed she was going on patrol. _The sanctuary, perhaps? Maybe one of the battlefields?_ Peridot was tempted to check the warp network logs for a clue but she resisted the urge to pry.

There was a noise from the back of the Beach House and Lapis entered via the temple door. She walked purposefully up to the kitchen counter and sat down on a bar stool, but suddenly her confidence seemed to falter. She idly kicked her feet against the kitchen divider and looked everywhere except at Peridot.

For a few moments, neither gem said anything or even openly acknowledged the other’s presence.

Eventually Lapis cleared her throat. “So uh... I wanted to talk with you...”

Peridot didn’t respond. She wanted to. It was just that she had multiple, equally intense responses, several of which were diametrically opposed.

“P, come on. Hear me out, okay?” Lapis pleaded.

The Green gem turned away, a cluster of floating fingers retrieving a pair of dark purple mugs and a little wooden box of tea. Lapis gave a faint smile as the other put the kettle on. Neither spoke as they waited for the water to reach a boil.

It reminded Peridot of a distant day.

* * *

_It wasn’t long until Lapis was sipping the cup of tea. A mediocre brew in Peridot’s estimation, but then it was more a prop than beverage._

_“So… where have you been?”_

_“Around, you know. Here... there…”_

_“That’s not an ans--”_

_“How’s the tyke doing?” she cut in, changing the topic._

_Peridot sighed._

_“She is well… How long are you going to be here?”_

_“I told you, I don’t know… Where is the little thing?”_

_“She’s napping, but that’s not what we are ta--”_

_“Boring.”_

_“Lapis! Not everything is made to entertain yo--”_

* * *

The beeping of a timer snapped Peridot back to the present. Busying herself, she soon prepared two cups of tea. A better brew this time, though a little astringent.

Tea ready, Peridot picked her own mug up, sniffing the liquid, while a pair of floating fingers slid a steaming mug across the counter in front of Lapis.

“So?” asked Peridot in a carefully neutral tone.

Lapis looked up from her drink, eyes wide in surprise, as though she’d forgotten they were speaking.

After a moment she managed to collect herself. “Right, uh, I know my, um... timing might have been off for some of the things I suggested earlier. I did not... Okay, let me start over! That sounded stupid,” said Lapis, her hands held up and making a ‘stop’ gesture.

“I wasn’t really thinking ahead when I… Man, where’s a swarm of Orthoclases when you need an icebreaker, am I right?” she said with a smile that failed to reach her eyes. A moment later she was chewing on her lip while her hands were wrapped tightly around her mug.

“Look, I’m just sorry. I’m sorry I’m a screw up with all of this. I just... Gaaah! Talking about things is hard!” she moaned, pushing the mug away from her, the tea within coming within millimeters of spilling.

Peridot raised a questioning eyebrow but simply sipped her tea. “Take your time,” she said eventually before bringing the cup back to her lips for another drink

"You're like, stunning, and - no... Ugh! Damn it!" Lapis exclaimed, following with a groan of annoyance with herself.

Peridot did a spit take at that, a spray of tea flying into Lapis’ face. Setting the mug down, she could only lean her elbow on the counter and laugh softly.

“Wow, Lapis. That was remarkable,” she managed to say eventually.

With a gesture the moisture was whisked off Lapis’ face and sent flying out the open front door. “Don’t ‘wow’ me. I’m trying really hard here! Running away is simple. Just ‘whoosh’ and you’re gone. This...” Lapis sighed, crossed her arms and rested them on the countertop. “I don’t know what to say,” she mumbled into her sleeves.

Peridot chuckled again. “Lapis Lazuli, _at a loss for words?_ Have the planets aligned?”

“P, I’m being serious,” she huffed. 

“Right, right. Go on. When you’re ready,” she added, unable to contain a final chuckle.

Lapis squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and seemed to go somewhere deep inside herself. Peridot had seen many sides of Lapis over the centuries, but she had rarely seen her _trying_ in the wake of repeated failures.

Lapis opened her eyes and began speaking hurriedly, as though scared she’d run out of words, or nerve, before she could complete her message. “Peridot, I’m sorry. What I did was a little much. A lot much. I obviously made you feel really uncomfortable, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that when I’m around, especially not in our own home. I acted like everything was the way it was before, like I didn’t just ruin everything and leave you all to clean up my mess. I’m sorry. I’m...” she finally faltered and seemed to deflate.

Eventually she grabbed her mug and brought it to her mouth. With a swallow, she peeked just over the rim, big blue eyes trying to read Peridot’s face for her reaction.

Peridot drew herself up and stared directly at Lapis, something the other gem seemed to find intimidating judging from the sudden tremble of all the liquids in the kitchen. “Firstly, I appreciate what you just said. It’s clear that wasn’t easy for you. Secondly, I have something of my own to convey.”

Lapis gave a little nod, eyes wide, still hiding behind her mug of tea.

“I am very… passionate about you. It has been thus for quite some time. While Connie and I were laboring in the Prime Kindergarten I all but admitted how, while fused, you and I,” and Peridot looked up, a mix of pleasure and sadness playing across her face, “become so enraptured with our shared experience that we lose perspective on everything,” she fixed Lapis once more with her gaze, “and everyone else.”

Peridot licked her lips, spending a moment formulating the rest of her response. “During your… leave, there were times when something novel happened: I noticed the difference your absence made.”

Lapis looked about to say something but Peridot silenced her with an upraised hand-equivalent.

“Of course, I miss your presence while you’re away. I always have. What I mean specifically is that I saw how it was affecting the others: Connie, at first, then Jasper, and finally myself, all of us struggling in our own ways for want of our Lapis.” 

She sighed. “I followed this observation backwards through the causal chain that brought us to that situation. My conclusion was that Hiddenite is a runaway reaction that can only end uncontrollably. I don’t trust myself not to hurt Connie in the process. Nor would I inflict upon her another upheaval like what followed the Gregorian increment celebration.”

Peridot finally broke eye contact, picking up her mug and fingering the handle. “I forgive you, Lapis. I suspect I always will. But I don’t forgive myself. Until things have changed, I don’t know that I can trust myself to be completely at ease with you. I might waver, you might ask me to fuse, and then…”

There was a long silence. Without looking up, Peridot raised the mug to her lips and took a slow sip.

Eventually the quiet became too much and she tilted her head up to see Lapis staring ahead, opening and closing her mouth wordlessly while her cup rested on the countertop, wrapped loosely in nerveless blue fingers.

This time it was Peridot who was at a loss for what to say. “L-Lapis? Are you well?” she asked, knowing the answer could only be in the negative.

Lapis closed her mouth and shook her head. “Hang on, Peri, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. You’ve got a big bundle of personal misgivings and self-loathing surrounding your past screw-ups with some glorious bastard who wants to have sweet fusion with you. And since it takes two of you to make that particular mistake, you’ve decided to be the one to always say ‘no’ on the off chance the other person says ‘yes’ during a moment of weakness. That about the shape of it?”

Peridot mentally replayed Lapis’ speech a couple of times. She briefly considered transcribing it and dissecting the linguistic content but she discarded that idea as being both impolite and an excuse to delay further.

“Though I wouldn’t phrase it in quite the same manner, that is the gist of my position.”

Lapis laughed. It was a manic, mirthless laugh that belted out of her as moisture collected at the corners of her eyes. She propped herself up on one elbow atop the counter, face in her right hand. It was soon hard to tell if she was laughing, crying, or both.

Peridot fidgeted nervously while Lapis had her breakdown.

A few minutes and an eternity later, Lapis sat up, her cheeks damp and her elbow resting in a pool of tears. With a humorless grin on her face throughout, Lapis plucked a nearby tissue from the dispenser, blew her nose, and wiped her eyes.

“What, uh, what was your insight?” asked Peridot.

“I’m your Jasper!” exclaimed Lapis, her smile manic and eyes tearing up. “And you’re my Lapis! Oh, shatter me sideways with a rusty injector drill,” she muttered, alternately laughing and wiping the new tears from her eyes.

“Lapis, I don’t think that’s quite-” but Peridot was interrupted by the other gem.

“No, Peri, it fits. Plus, you can’t invent irony this painful. Truth really is crueler than fiction.”

“Stranger,” corrected Peridot.

“That too,” said a distracted Lapis. “Look, I’m going to go for a little flight and clear my head before-”

It was Peridot’s turn to interject. “Wait! Lapis, you don’t have to go! This was…” but she trailed off as Lapis made soothing motions with her free hand.

“It’s okay, P. I’m not gonna fly off. Just, ya know, around. I don’t know if Connie could actually summon up a lightning bolt to blast me out of the sky, but I know I’d deserve it if I pulled that stunt again. No, I’ll be back in time to tuck the girlie in for bed.”

With that Lapis walked out the open door, summoned her wings, and with a single, powerful downstroke she vanished from sight.

Peridot stood unmoving for a while, merely watching the spot where Lapis had been. Eventually she heard a ‘pat pat pat’ sound that drew her attention downward. At some point, probably when she’d been afraid Lapis was going to flee again, she’d tipped over her mug of tea. The beverage had pooled on the counter and was now dripping onto Peridot’s gravity connector.

With a sigh, Peridot set to work. Minutes later the kitchen showed no sign that anything unusual had transpired.

Peridot walked through the temple door at the center of a cloud of holograms. Connie had displayed not one but two new powers, after all, and there were tests to be designed, lists to be compiled, work to be done. There certainly wasn’t time to consider the ache in her chest or the moisture that would occasionally cloud her peripheral vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: If you read this chapter before October 2nd, 2017, note that the power discussion section between Connie and the others has been changed some. Specifically this includes Connie asking a few more follow-up questions about the whole embedded gem thing that Peridot references. We had originally planned to include elaboration on that in a subsequent chapter of a subsequent episode. However, the more we thought about it the more this seemed like the logical spot for this conversation to arise organically, so we decided to go and introduce the change.
> 
> * * *
> 
> And so concludes _Beach City Limits_. Tune in Wednesday the 27th for the start of **Episode 15: Bonnie Lockdrew and the Cries of Hallowed Halls**.
>
>>   
>   
>  After returning to the quarry to make sure all is quiet, Connie finally joins Sadie, Ronaldo, and the Cool Kids for a night of scary movie viewing.
> 
> If you missed it earlier, there are several deleted scenes from chapter 3, compiled into an omake:  
> *) [Beach City Limits Deleted Scenes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27385020) by [br42](http://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) \- Two scenes were deleted from Episode 14, Chapter 3: Priyanka’s Pre-Confrontation Digression and a fuller version of what Lapis overheard from the Junk Food Jockeys.
> 
> Additionally, several What-If answers from [this prompt](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10673391/chapters/27310398) have been answered on the Connie Swap Tumblr:  
> *) [Whaaat if... Lapis finally acknowledges that her relationship with Peridot is fundamentally unhealthy?](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/post/165224081878/whaaat-if-lapis-finally-acknowledges-that-her)  
> *) [What if Connie and Steven marry and have kids?](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/post/165330438828/i-imagine-lapis-asking-this-what-if-connie-and)  
> *) [What if the new Spirit Morph book had been better?](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/post/165475841063/what-if-the-new-spirit-morph-book-had-been-better)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Reader and all around cool person, CatOreo, did a redraw of the Destiny Partner's Handshake from chapter 2. They did an outstanding job!  
> 
> 
> You can see more of their art on [their Tumblr page here](https://destoinic.tumblr.com/) including a redraw of the Connie Swap Title card.
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you have a Connie Swap story burning in your soul that you want to see in our official, curated Omake collection, drop us a comment either in the Omake fic or here in the main fic and we'll get in touch.
> 
> Connie Swap has an official Discord for the fans. [Come check it out.](https://discord.gg/RQMDdhr)
> 
> As usual, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and your asks at the [Connie Swap Tumblr](http://connieswap.tumblr.com/). Thanks for reading!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [War Never Changes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11983185) by [H_C](https://archiveofourown.org/users/H_C/pseuds/H_C)




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